WWE RAW Results (7/2) – DDP & Doink The Clown!
Event: WWE Monday Night RAW
Airdate: Monday, July 2nd, 2012 (USA Network)
Location: The Laredo Energy Arena in Laredo, TX
Results by Tony Acero
“Yes, sir, we promised you a great main event…”
-We get highlights from last week’s show, featuring the Jericho vs. Cena main event and the ass whooping Big Show put on Cena.
-The MITB briefcase is hanging above the ring.
-Cena & Punk vs. Jericho and Bryan is the main event, as ordered by Teddy Long. TAG TEAM MATCH PLAYA!
-John Cena will kick off the show tonight. Cena hits the ring and says the crowd is an excited bunch tonight. After seeing last week’s footage, where he got beat down, he is a bit upset. He could shake his fists and be all vengeful, but instead he thanks Jericho and Big Show. Jericho said he was never in a MITB match and that Cena needed to be prepared, because anything can happen. And last week, Big Show got involved, and he got a crash course in what MITB is all about. There are only enemies out there, he gets it. He needs to be ready for anything at MITB, and he will be. He stands by what he said, he will stop Big Show from winning and he will win the match and he will cash in and become the WWE Champion.
Daniel Bryan comes out, “YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES!” He’s a man of few words you see. Cena says even Bryan agrees with him. Bryan says Cena is not relevant to him, because at MITB, he will win the WWE Title. And if Cena wins MITB, then Cena will be the first man to cash in the MITB and lose. Cena says that they are strong words, and he knows someone that disagrees with him.
CM Punk now makes his way out, and says a lot more people disagree than just one. He disagrees, Cena disagrees, Jerry Lawler disagrees, the popcorn guys disagrees, this half of the crowd, and that side. Bryan cuts him off as Punk goes into a “YES” chant. Bryan is begging someone out here to have an original thought, and that will not steal his catchphrase. Bryan says AJ is the special referee at MITB for the WWE Title match, and she will count down Bryan’s shoulders. And if Cena wins MITB, it all comes down to them again.
Chris Jericho now makes his way out to the ring. Jericho says an original thought is that Punk is still a wanna be. Jericho says everything is stolen from him, and Punk calls him Bon Jovi. Jericho then says Bryan should think of new catchphrases. Bryan says no one asked him to be a part of this, and Jericho tells him to SHUT THE HELL UP. Jericho welcomes us to RAW IS JERICHO! After tonight, none of the guys in the ring will never, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER be the same, again. Jericho then tells Cena that he needs to be better prepared, because Jericho invented MITB and he will win. He dares someone to tell him otherwise…
And here comes Kane. Kane takes the mic from Jericho, and says “otherwise.”
And of course we wouldn’t be complete without the Big Show making an appearance. Cena calls him on and Bryan attacks. Punk high kicks him as we have a brawl. Cena and Show now battle, but then Kane gets involved. Show drops him with a clothesline and stands tall over the fallen bodies. His music plays, so he wins.
-Cole hypes Charlie Sheen being the social media ambassador for the 1,000th Raw.
The Prime Time Players (Young and O’Neil), Cody Rhodes and David Otunga vs. Kofi Kingston, R Truth, Santino and Christian
Christian and Young to begin. Knees by Young to begin. Christian slaps him, to the corner and a boot by Christian. A 2nd rope dropkick by Christian gets 2. Tag to Truth, off the ropes and Truth dances and lands rights on Young. Kofi tags in, cross body and a cover gets 2. A clothesline follows, off the ropes and O’Neil saves Young. Kofi then hits a suicide dive to wipe both out. Young then gets a clothesline and we have a stand off on the floor, as we head to commercial @ 2:00.
Back from commercial @ 5:00 as Cody works over Kofi. Off the ropes, and a knee by Cody. Tag to O’Neil, and AW is mic’d up. O’Neil slams Kofi down and covers for 2. Kofi battles back, looks to crawl for the tag, Otunga and Santino tag in, and Santino Santino is control and gets a cover for 2. it breaks down as everyone hits the ring, O’Neil to the floor and AW and the Prime Time Players bail. Hip toss on Otunga, but Santino misses the saluting head butt. Coy then bails on Otunga, and here comes the Funkasaurus! Christian attacks Otunga on the floor, the tag champs roll him in and as he tries to escape again, Clay tosses him in, COBRA and that is all.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Kofi Kingston, R Truth, Santino and Christian @ 9:00 via pin
-After the match, Christian nails the killswitch on Otunga. Clay then gets the big splash on Otunga. He dances with the girls and some kids from ringside.
-Teddy Long dances backstage, and Alberto Del Rio is there to kiss up to Long. Del Rio says that he wants to say he earned a world title match right after WM, but it always gets changed. That’s not fair. Long doesn’t think he deserves it, but the board of directors have stated that Del Rio will get a match against Sheamus at the MITB PPV. Long says he will be in a match, next. Long says he will find out who his opponent is when he gets out there.
-Raw memories, and we see Shane McMahon training Vince for his Royal Rumble appearance. This is Stephanie’s favorite moment by the way.
-Cole thanks the fans for making Raw a success, and in three weeks, they go to three hours.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Sin Cara
As Cara made his entrance, Del Rio attacks him and started to beat him down. He tossed him to the floor and then beat him down more and applied the arm bar. The match did not officially start, and they finally got Del Rio to break the hold. I know I am not the only one thinking it, but, another wellness suspension, or just making Del Rio appear strong? You decide.
OFFICIAL RESULT: No Contest
-AJ gets taped up like Punk backstage, and Daniel Bryan appears to say that he always cared about her. He reacted poorly because he didn’t know how to handle things. He gives her a rose, and she says it is sweet. She then asks if it has anything to do with her being the referee for the WWE Title match. Bryan says no, and AJ says she knows he never cared. And when she wins her match tonight, she will run into the arms of the man she loves. She then bites the rose apart and leaves.
-Cole says that Paul Heyman will speak when we return, via satellite.
-Smackdown is LIVE tomorrow night! I’ll be covering the show for you.
-Back from commercial and Michael Cole sets up Triple H’s challenge to Brock Lesnar, and we get footage from No Way Out. We then see footage of Heyman denying the challenge and Triple H assaulting him.
-We go to Paul Heyman, via satellite from WWE Studios. Heyman says that he is pleased to announce that Lesnar has made a decision. And it is a decision that Brock will deliver, in person, at the 1,000th Raw. Heyman has no doubt that Triple H does want the match, but not for the reasons that everyone thinks. Heyman says Triple H will need the money to fight the lawsuits, but why would Triple H want to face Brock? Heyman says it is Triple H’s exit strategy. If Lesnar accepts the challenge, he will end Triple H’s career. And then he can go be the executive, the loving father and husband. And everyone will tell him that he was the last of an era, and hw he went out on his shield against Lesnar. Heyman says it won’t be a match, it will be a mercy killing.
-Kane and Big Show will face off tonight in a NO DQ match. Also, Sheamus and AJ face Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero.
-Vickie Guerrero makes her way to the ring to announce herself as the “Queen Diva” Vickie Guerrero. She then announces Dolph Ziggler.
Sheamus and AJ vs. Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero
Vickie shoves AJ, and Sheamus has to stop AJ from attacking. And here we go as Sheamus and Ziggler start things off. Lock up, go behind by Ziggler, but a counter and then elbows by Ziggler. Side headlock applied, to the corner and a boot by Ziggler. A dropkick follows and a cover for 2. Ziggler works the arm, Sheamus battles back and eats a boot by Ziggler. Off the ropes and Sheamus tosses Ziggler into a flapjack and covers for 2. Ziggler tries to escape, and then kicks Sheamus in the knee. DDT by Ziggler gets 2, and he goes into a chinlock to keep Sheamus grounded. Sheamus works to his feet, and then destroys Ziggler with a forearm. White noise by Sheamus connects. Sheamus sets for the brogue kick, and Ziggler then tags in Vickie. Vickie cannot believe he did that, and Sheamus brogue kicks Ziggler to the floor. Vickie in, and AJ with a boot to thte gut, shining wizard follows and she gets the win.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Sheamus and AJ @ 4:00 via pin
-She chants YES all the way to the back. We then see her backstage looking for Punk and she finds him. he’s on the phone, and she asks who he is talking too. He says it is personal and then hags up and says he was on the phone with his sister. He didn’t see her match because of that. She does NOT approve of him being on the phone during her match, and is upset that he didn’t pay attention to her. She walks away a sad panda.
-Heath Slater is out. We get a video package of Slater being killed by various former WWE performers, Vader, Sid, Piper and such. Slater does not think that the video was funny. He is the one man band baby. He is not a clown, he is not a clown…
-DOINK IS HERE!
Heath Slater vs. Doink the Clown
Yes, Doink the Clown. Lock up and a side headlock by Doink. Hammerlock follows, and then Doink slaps Slater. Boot to the gut by Slater, and rights follow. Rights by Slater, off the ropes and a knee lift by Slater. Doink fights back, chops follow. Shoulder blocks in the corner, but Slater hits a neck breaker and wins!
OFFICIAL RESULT: Heath Slater @ 1:30 via pin
-DDP then comes out to his music, and hits the ring. He says Slater did well and offers to shake his hand. He then tells Slater to do the diamond cutter sign, and they shake and hug. Nope…DIAMOND CUTTER~! Bang bitch.
-They hype the DVD release of NO HOLDS BARRED, which comes out tomorrow.
-We see Cena and Alicia Fox visiting Walter Reed Medical Center.
NO DQ MATCH: Kane vs. Big Show
And here we go, the bell rings and CLUBBERIN by Show. Show in control early, but Kane fires back with rights and then gets a side headlock. Off the ropes and a shoulder block by Show. Kane to the floor, Show pulls him up but Kane with the stun gun off the ropes. Show then shoulder blocks Kane to the barricade and Show follows. MISSES a bog boot and crotches himself on the barricade, allowing Kane to fire back with rights. Show then whips him to the steps. Show looks for a chokeslam, but Kane fights back only to get slammed into the announcer’s table. Show now grabs a chair, into the ring with Kane he goes and Kane with rights to fight back. Off the ropes and a DDT by Kane gets 2. Kane up top, misses the clothesline and then he grabs the chair and Show SPEARS Kane. To their feet and a goozle by Show, and chokeslams Kane on the chair, and covers for the win.
OFFICIAL RESULT: Big Show @ 4:00 via pin
-Teddy Long walks, and meets with Eve. Eve says it is good to see him and says he looks well. He says to save the drama, and since she has been gone, he has a big old nametag for her to wear. That pisses off Eve, who then sees AJ backstage. She says AJ has been acting like her, and that AJ should act like a little girl and sit in a corner and cry. AJ says Eve will do anything for attention, and asks what Eve will do now. Big Johnny is gone, so who will Eve brown nose next? She says Eve will just do anything for attention, and she says she will show her how to get attention. She’ll show her, she will show all of them…
-We get another Raw moment, which is DX invading WCW. This is Alberto Del Rio’s moment.
Tyson Kidd vs. Tensai
Tensai rushes Kidd and slams him to the corner, and beats the hell out of him. Tensai misses the charge, and Kidd gets the sneaky roll up for the win!
OFFICIAL RESULT: Tyson Kidd @ :20 via pin
-Tensai then starts to destroy Sakemoto after the match. He kicks his ass and tosses him to the floor, and then attempts to rip his face off. We then get a replay of Kidd’s quick victory.
-Chris Jericho and Daniel Bryan meet backstage. They make fun of each other’s jacket, but then Jericho says they need to embarrass Punk and Cena. Bryan annoys Jericho by chanting yes, as Jericho then repeats “EVER AGAIN.”
-Punk and Cena talk backstage and Punk wants to take the lead tonight.
-Josh Matthews talks with Tyson Kidd. Kidd then gets attacked by a pissed off Tensai, who takes time to toss him into the lockers, repeatedly. That had to suck.
CM Punk and John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan and Chris Jericho
Punk and Bryan to begin things. Lock up, an arm drags by Bryan and then a YES to boot. Lock up again, side headlock by Bryan, off the ropes and a shoulder block. Arm drags by Punk, chops follow. Suplex by Punk gets 2. Tag to Cena, takes Bryan to the corner, whips him to the other corner, takes Bryan down and covers for 2. Bryan crawls over and tags in Jericho. Lock up, side headlock by Jericho. Off the ropes and a shoulder block by Jericho. COME ON BABY! Lock up again, off the ropes and a shoulder block by Cena. Tries for the AA, but Jericho escapes. Cena rushes him from the apron and Jericho crashes into the barricade, and we head to a commercial @ 3:00.
Back from commercial @ 7:00, with Cena trying to fight off Bryan and Jericho. Jericho cuts off Cena as he tries for a tag, and then covers for 2. One-foot cover by Jericho, and Cena kicks out. Jericho works the chinlock, Cena fights to his feet but Jericho takes him right back down. Lionsault misses, and now both men need a tag. They crawl, and Bryan tags in and stops Cena from getting a tag. Bryan works over Cena in the corner, kicking him and yelling YES repeatedly. Charging dropkick connects and Bryan covers for a close 2. Head butts by Bryan, tag to Jericho and he lays in the kick to the ribs. Knee to the face by Jericho, but Cena powers up and fights back with rights. Some miscommunication thee, and Jericho grabs a front facelock. Cena tries to fight out, Cena tries for an AA, but Jericho counters it into a DDT. He slowly covers for 2. Jericho remains in control, chops to Cena in the corner. Boot by Jericho, but Cena counters the bulldog and sends Jericho into the corner. Cena tries for a tag and makes it Punk flies in with the clothesline and is running wild on Jericho and Bryan. Corner knee to Bryan, snap slam follows and a cover for 2. Anaconda vice by Punk, Bryan fights, and Jericho makes the save. Cena in and tosses Jericho to the floor. They brawl up the ramp, leaving Punk and Bryan. Bryan with the RANA but Punk rolls through for the sunset flip for 2. Bryan fights back, kick to the head of Punk and Bryan covers for 2. Bryan up top, Punk crotches him and then delivers chops. Punk up with Bryan, superplex connects! 1…2…NO! AJ’s music hits and she comes skipping out. Punk and Bryan keep battling, and she seems bummed that they aren’t paying attention to her. She gets on the apron and then drops off. Punk and Bryan collide as they both go for cross bodies at the same time, and as they are down, AJ looks under the ring and gets a table. She sets it up on the floor, and looks very pleased with herself. She then climbs the steps and looks down at the table. She then climbs to the top rope, starring at the table the whole way up. Bryan tries to stop her from jumping, and says it is not worth it. Punk then tries to stop her, and she kisses him. AND THEN SHOVES HIM OFF ONTO BRYAN AND THEY CRASH THROUGH THE TABLE.
She stands on the ropes, chanting YES as the crowd chants with her…
OFFICIAL RESULT: No Contest @ 18:00 via Crazy AJ
Credit: Tony Acero