**SPOILERS** WWE SmackDown Results For Friday 5/2/14

Credit: Reader ‘IAmLars’

Dark Matches:

Santino defeated Brodus Clay. Emma distracted Clay and Santino hit the Cobra.

Tyson Kidd vs. Bo Dallas. Bo cuts a hilarious and heartfelt promo. Bo wins with the double underhook DDT.

WWE SmackDown (Airing Friday)

Smackdown begins, for some reason, with a contract signing between Hornswoggle and El Torito. Shenanigans ensue involving a booster seat and El Torito signing with a footprint. Yep. Faces clear out the heels.

Rob Van Dam vs. Jack Swagger. Heyman comes out with Cesaro for commentary. Short match. Cesaro causes the distraction and RVD hits the frog splash. Cesaro attacks RVD after the match.

Alexander Rusev vs. R-Truth. Lana gets her own introduction, does some turns, and I get all tingly. Short, nothing match. Xavier Woods attacks Rusev with no provocation causing the DQ. Woods and Truth attack Rusev as he escapes from the ring.

Daniel Bryan comes out to cut a promo. He tells Kane he started a war when he put his hands on his fine, fine wife. Kane shows up on the TitanTron with an uber close-up. Kane shows highlights of his destructive powers.

Wyatt Family vs. Usos & Sheamus in a six-man tag. Sheamus is the face in peril for awhile before tagging in…an Uso. Back and forth leads to Rowan getting the Brogue kick, Bray making the blind tag, and hitting Sister Abigail for the win. Usos stay a brawl after the match…which doesn’t end well for them.

Rusev demands a rematch according to Lillian.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow as Magneto. Yes, he’s back with huge, purple underwear. Sandow gets tangled in his cape and Dolph hits the Zig Zag.

Alexander Rusev vs. R-Truth: The Rematch!! Pretty much ends the same as the first. Rusev gets attacked by Woods for the DQ. Lana leaves us again. The end.

Big E vs. Titus O’Neill. Titus throws Big E all over the announce table. Titus gets disqualified for not breaking the count. Big E is pissed and DESTROYS Titus and fucks up the announce table. Cole legitimately sends pissed about this as we hear him taking to the crew.

They show the Kansas City CHIEFS on the Tron.

Dean Ambrose vs. Ryback vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Curtis Axel for the US Title. Fatal Fourway for the United States Championship. Dean gets a great face reaction. The heels gang up on Dean for awhile. And then fight each other. Each man takes turn dominating. Dean gets laid out on the outside. Ryback nearly gets the win before Axel screws him. Dean gets the roll up win and the heels attack. Rollins and Reigns storm out to kill everyone and stand tall to end the show.

She Does It Again!!!! 100% DIRECT LINK (PHOTOS): Jessica Alba **BENDING OVER** In A Bikini! MUST-SEE-NOW!!!