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The Glass Ceiling Part I >>>

Okay okay, so it's been six months since I posted the first part, but better late than never. HHH was still injured when he entered the scene at the end of the last one. We're gonna ignore that and continue the story from this timeframe. Keep in mind it's a PARODY, so don't take it seriously. Now, ignore me, and picture a beautiful, expensive office in Titan Towers...


HHH: ...so yeah, Vince, that's why I think you were right to release Jerry Lynn. Sheer brilliance, as usual boss.

Vince: Ah, Hunter, you're too much. What would I do without you?

HHH: Ah you'd manage. Anyway, there's something that I was wanting to talk to you about. Got a minute?

Vince: For you, Hunter, always. What's up?

(They discuss the situation for several minutes, after which Vince has a shocked look on his face)

Vince: I didn't know you felt that way, Hunter. Honestly, I thought your match at Wrestlemania was coming together just fine...

HHH: It's not Vince. Sorry. but just about everyone agrees with me. We need to talk to Chris about this.

Vince: Yes, yes, we need to. How could I be so blind? Well, we're gonna fix this situation right now.

(Vince has Chris Jericho paged to his office.)

Vince: I like your idea for how to fix this. It's gonna make this the biggest match of the year, possibly ever!

HHH: Well Vince, you know me. Always with an active interest in the product.

(Chris Jericho enters the room.)

Vince: Heya, Chris. There's something we need to talk to you about.

Y2J: Sure, Vince. Hey, Hunter.

HHH: How's it going?

Vince: Well, Chris, HHH has brought it to my attention that your match with him at Wrestlemania is not coming along as well as I figured. He has a solution to this, though.

Y2J: Well, that's great. I'm all ears, guys. Seriously, I'm just grateful that you have the faith to let me go into Wrestlemania in my home country as the champion. Thank...

Vince: You're gonna drop the belts to Stephanie this Thursday.

Y2J: ...

Vince: Chris?

Y2J: ...um, pardon?

Vince: This Thursday. Smackdown. Stephanie is gonna pin you for the undisputed championship.

HHH: Yeah. My girlfriend.

Y2J: ...bu...she...why...

Vince: Chris, it's the better option for this match. Steph has got incredible heel heat going on. Come to think of it, people hate her more than you right now...

Y2J: But...you never really pushed me at all. The buildup for me has been terrible and...

Vince: Chris, I think you're above making excuses. You dropped the ball. You really messed up, Chris.

HHH: Yeah, you screwed up. Vince, do I ever mess up?

Vince: No, Hunter, no you don't.

Y2J: So, what's gonna happen to me? I mean, do I still get a match?

Vince: Of course you do. I'm just at a loss of who to put you with at the moment.

Y2J: Maybe someone in the higher upper card? Please? I'm in front of my countrymen, I don't wanna let everyone down...


(Kevin Nash and The Undertaker enter the room, arm in arm like old college buddies)

Nash: ...and then I says "why don't you sell THIS, bitch?"

Undertaker: (laughing) Jeez, Big Kev, I never get sick of that story. So what happened to the guy?

Nash: I jobbed him out on tv. And slept with his wife!

(Both of them laugh hysterically for a few moments at this.)

Vince: Well, hey guys. Looks like Mark has made a new friend.

Undertaker: Yeah, Vince, Kevin is great. We started hanging out and really clicked.

Vince: That's wonderful. Guys, Chris here has a problem. I was wondering on your advice for who to pair him with at Mania. Steph is winning the titles from him, so he'll need a new opponent. Any suggestions?

Y2J: Oh God no.

Nash: Hmmm, I dunno Vince. I'd wrestle him, but you know...my bad knees and all.

Vince: Understandable. And Taker is already booked. How about a handicap match? Maybe against those two big guys...can't remember their names.

Undertaker: Kronik? You fired them a while ago, Vince. They sucked. Made our match with them look like shit. Lazy no-selling bastards.

Vince: I did? Okay, then I'm all outta ideas. Hunter, got anything?

HHH: Yeah, Vince. When am I gonna be head booker?

Vince: I mean do you have suggestions about Jericho and who he should face. And in two weeks, Hunter.

HHH: Um, nope. Guess he's off the card.

Y2J: Off the...? My FAMILY will be there!

Vince: Guess you're right, Trips. Sorry Chris. You're off the card.

Y2J: ...maybe Steph has heel heat because she's always on the tv and people get sick of seeing her whining ass there every week....

(Taker and Nash crack up like school boys at this.)

Nash: Who could get sick of thems big titties?

HHH: Kev, watch it! Vince, that was uncalled for. Fire Jericho.

Vince: Chris, you're fired. Leave the belts in here on your way out.

Y2J: This is insane. I worked my ass off for THIS? You guys are just a bunch of corporate asses...

HHH: Shit, Vince, we'd better reconsider. I mean it.

Vince: Wow. Okay. why's that?

HHH: He might show up on WCW Nitro next week.

(Nash, Taker, Vince and HHH all look at each other. They then break into a huge fit of laughter, as Chris Jericho leaves the room, cursing the entire time)


HHH: So what are we gonna do about the belts Vince? We have no champion now.

Vince: Sure we do. Just wear them to the ring on Smackdown. Our audience won't even notice. You and Steph can paper, rock, scissors who gets to win your match at Mania.

HHH: I'm the champ again? Thanks a lot. You sure no one will notice I'm the champ now and Jericho isn't?

Vince: But of course. This is the same crowd who we remind of things ten minutes after they happen. They won't notice a thing.

Nash: Hey, Taker, let's go harass mid-carders in the hallways.

Undertaker: You didn't have to ask me twice.Guys, we're taking off.

HHH: Later, boys.

Vince: Have fun. Don't play too rough.

Undertaker: Can't wait for Smackdown, man. It's gonna be sweet. I'm probably gonna attack Maven in the parking lot again. Might even beat the shit out of Flair's daughter.

Nash: Wow, that would get you over BIG as a heel. They're sure pushing this angle eh?

Undertaker: Angle?

(They exit the room)


HHH: Oh yeah, Vince, one of my buddies is here, I forgot to mention it to you. I just started hanging out with him lately, but I was gonna bring him in to meet you. Not like you haven't heard of him, though.

Vince: Just a second, I'm still looking at this booking sheet. The Hardyz are in a match? Isn't Jeff dead?

HHH: Nope, Vince. That was Vic Grimes, I think.

Vince: Oh, right. Hold on for just a minute, Hunter.

(Vince pages someone, and returns to his sheets)

Vince: A Four Way Elimination match for the tag titles? That just won't do.


(Jeff Hardy enters the room.)

Vince: Oh Jeff, how's it going? Just passing along that we've changed your match at Wrestlemania. Matt will be working against Lance Storm, and you're gonna be taking on RVD in a Glass Fisted Death Match With Exploding Mines. Just to tell you, the mines will be real. Try to take the impact with your back, since I know your ribs have been sore lately.

Jeff: Sure thing.

(Jeff Hardy leaves the room.)

HHH: I think RVD is already in a match, boss.

Vince: He is? Oh yes, I see that now. It's Wrestlemania, so the guy is liable to kill himself with all his spots. Might as well get as much as we can out of him before the paramedics pull him out.

HHH: I agree totally, Vince.


(Scott Steiner enters the room.)

Vince: This must be who you were talking about, Hunter. How's it going, Scott? I haven't seen you in ages!

Steiner: Motherf***er! There's too many f***in' hallways in this place! Stupid f***heads don't know s**t either. Jesus f***ing Christ, how hard is it to give f***ing directions??

HHH: Heya, Scott. Had a tough time out there, did ya?

Steiner: Trips, I swear, those stupid c**ts can't find their own asses! Lucky I didn't f*** them up right then and there!

HHH: Oh, thanks for the stuff Scott. It's been working great.

Steiner: Hey, you know I gots ALL the mother f***in' connections, man. There's  all these f***wits who think they got the s**t, well they ARE mother f***in' s**t!!

Vince: Hey, Scott, I'm still finalizing the card. Want to be a surprise guest at Wrestlemania?

Steiner: No f***ing way! Sure I do wanna do that s**t for you, but my ankle is all f***ed up right now. And my neck, shoulders, ribs and back. But count me in, motherf***er!!

Vince: You are in. Welcome aboard, Scott.

HHH: We'll keep in touch, Scott. Have a good one.

Steiner: Yeah, I'm gonna f*** off right about now. I only worked out nine f***in hours today and feel weak. Like that little p***y in the hallway. That f***er was all looking at me weird and s**t. F*** him, he's gonna get his ass kicked in, little b***h.

HHH: Later, Scott!

Vince: See you Sunday.

(Scott Steiner exists the room.)


HHH: hey Vince, it's been great, but I gotta run here. Steph and me are gonna do some more writing for the shows together. Might even add something about a cat this time.

Vince: Alright, you two kids have fun. I have some business to take care of anyway.

HHH: We'll try. Talk to you later.

Vince: Later, big guy.

(HHH exits the room)

Vince: Now., where was I? Ah, yes.

(Vince pages Hollywood Hogan to his office.)

Brad McCloskey
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