TNA RAW IS RATINGS 3

[XL]

The camera pans across the crowd.







We join our broadcast team to introduce the action.


BBQ: Good evening TNA fans, we're continuing the Guy Fawke's festivities with another EXPLOSIVE episode of RAW IS RATINGS.

VC: That's right Stay-Puff. James Steele and Innovator will sign the ForuMania Main Event contract, we're expecting a huge announcement of some kind as well as an exclusive interview with former NCW Champion HavoK.

BBQ: And we'll see the bad blood between Intercontinental Champion Sober Joe and "The Dukes of Disappointment" continue as well as the TNA Midcarders in action as they battle for a shot at Danny Electric's WORLD Midcard Championship.

VC: And speaking of the WORLD Midcard Champion - he has joined us on commentary tonight! Welcome Danny.



DE: Happy to be here V-Man.


TNA WORLD MIDCARD CHAMPIONSHIP NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TOURNAMENT
MATCH ONE


WEEEEEEEEELL...

LET'S GET CENT! CENT! CENT!



The crowd begin a "Talentless Jobber" chant.







VC: Somebody lowered a cage by accident. Way to build our hopes up, production fags.

BBQ: That cage is running like a scalded pedophile.



Cent: Noooo!!! I wanted my first cage match, you shit heads!
















BBQ: Uh, refs... There ain't even one title on the line here, let alone a dozen.



Ref: Oh, shit...



Ref: What about the Super-Duper-Turbo-Gimmicky-Briefcase-Of-Ultimate-Tackiness?



VC: I didn't hear anything about that. Did you?

BBQ: Nope.

DE: Maybe it's a shitty NCW gimmick that we all forgot about!?



Ref: Damn it!

JIZZ IN MY PANTS



BBQ: BAHGAWD!



VC: Uh-Oh... It's the Coors Light sponsored, mobile sperm bank!





The crowd start up a "We Love Jizz" chant.



*DING DING*





BBQ: JIZZ-BOMB! JIZZ-BOMB! JIZZ-BOMB!



VC: Wow, Klark's ass got real fat, real fast.

ONE...


TWO...


THREE!

*DING DING DING*



WINNER BY PINFALL: JIZZTON BALDCOCK



Damian Phoenix is spotted in the crowd.



Danny notices him from his seat at ringside.

BBQ: You gotta think he's out here for you Danny. We've heard him say he's targetting a man with no morals and that he wants all of the gold in TNA.


DE: The guy's a fruit loop. He probably just got lost looking for the merchadise stand. He coulda saved some time by ordering his Danny Electric t-shirt at tna.com.




DE: Besides, I have an abundance of moral fibre and my title is made of platinum, not gold!


TNA WORLD MIDCARD CHAMPIONSHIP NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TOURNAMENT
MATCH TWO

HEEEEEEEEEEERE'S TOMMY!



BBQ: Danny, Tommy is your younger brother but is he a contender here?


DE: Well he has the Electric genes so he's gotta be in with a shout.

THE FOLLOWING MATCH IS RATED M




BBQ: MadMan doesn't even wanna be in this tournament but Danny has insisted he takes part.

DE: Maddy reckons he's gonna be fighting for the World Heavyweight Championship at ForuMania, I'm just giving him the chance to fight for a real title!



MadMan doesn't bother with his pyro.

*DING DING*



The Mad One goes straight on the attack, grabbing Tommy.



MadMan rams his opponents head into the turnbuckle.





MadMan repeats the move.



And follows up with an elbow to the back of the head.



BBQ: MadMan looking to win this one early.



MadMan nails the Psycho Crusher.



1...

2...


3!!!

*DING DING DING*




MadMan looks down at his defeated foe.





MadMan hold his hands aloft in celebration.



Back to his feet, Tommy offers a handshake to the victor.



MadMan takes Tommy's hand.



But pulls him into a DDT.



MadMan heads up the ramp.



Tommy starts to get back to his feet.



He pauses and heads back to the ring.



MadMan sets up for another Psycho Crusher.



BBQ: What's gotten into MadMan tonight!?

DE: Does he need an excuse? He's crazy!



MadMan celebrates.

WINNER BY PINFALL: MADMAN

[XL]

Peen Gene: Ladies and gentlemen, ForuMania IV is just around the corner and it is my distinct honour and priviledge to announce that at the "Biggest Show of the Year" we will not just see match-ups of epic proportion but we will also be treated to a "C-Fed Awards Ceremony" including new entries into the C-Fed Hall of Fame.



PG: And, here tonight, I can reveal the first inductee of the C-Fed Hall of Fame Class of 2009..."ACTION" JACK ICON!!

NOW YOU’RE A MAN!

A MAN, MAN, MAN

YOU’RE A MAAAAAAN!!!



Jack Icon makes his way into the arena.



BBQ: Jack Icon made his name in GCW and NCW but you can't deny that the guy is a legend in this industry.




PG: Jack, welcome to the TNArena! May I first say how good it is to see you back in the centre of a C-Fed ring.



SG: "Action" Jack Icon. First ever and longest reigning GCW World Heavyweight Champion and a former NCW World Heavyweight Champion. And now set to take your place amongst the greats in the industry in the C-Fed Hall of Fame. How does it all feel Jack?



Icon: Well lemme tell ya Sleen Gene, Wow, it’s really great to see all of you…what the hell did I call you again? Iconites? Jackamaniacs? Jack-offs? Something like that. Gene, you don't know how great it feels to be back out here amongst the fans of TNA. I'm feeling in the best shape of my life and I am over the moon to have been selected to lead the Class of 2009.



Icon: The honour, the prestige, but more importantly...the money! It's been well publicised that my divorce has left my bank account a little dry but the money from this gig is gonna help a whole lot!



Icon: I gotta say how grateful I am to Nowhere Man for allowing me the chance to come out, not actually do anything, and still get a free paycheck out of it! That’s right folks, at Forum Mania IV, you’ll see me completely phoning it in, but hey, you’ll still be seeing me, and that’s all that really matters, right?

And after I’ve collected my easy money and rode off into the sunset again until the next time I’m strapped for cash, I’ll be--

REACH FOR THE STARS





Jack Icon is visibly annoyed that someone would dare interrupt his promo.

AT FORUM MANIA….





….JACK ICON…





….WILL FACE HIS GREATEST CHALLENGE YET…





…..A SPECIAL EXHIBITION MATCH….





….AGAINST HIS GREATEST OPPONENT EVER…..


































BBQ: OH BAHGAWD IN SLOW-ROASTED HEAVEN, IT’S SEYMOUR!!!!!

VC: …all that fuss for him? Really?







Seymour grabs the mic.


Seymour: Y’know, I never thought I’d be here in TNA; I was always an NCW guy through and through, the only NCW original to stick around from the very beginning right up until it went out of business…and still never got a World Title shot…I am not bitter, I am not bitter…

Anyway, I guess you’d like to know what’s been going on with me since NCW went under. Well, as you may have heard, me and Dementia finally split up for good: Super Evil Seymour kept sending her death threats and saying they were from Slater, but for some reason she took them for love-letters and dumped me for him. I spent the next month or so switching between crying under the stairs in the basement and trying to hang myself…turns out I have a really strong neck. Anyway, after about the fifth time I broke into Slater’s house and tried to kill him in the middle of the night, I realized that it was Super Evil Seymour’s fault all along, and I decided to resolve the whole split-personality thing once and for all. We had a big fight on top of a burning building in the middle of a thunderstorm, and then he tried to escape on a helicopter, but I grabbed his foot at the last minute and he plummeted into the shark-infested waters below. Sonny thinks that he’s gone for good, but he’ll be back. He always comes back…



….oh, right, my match with Jack Icon! Mr. Icon, I’ve been a huge fan of yours all my life, and at Forum Mania IV, it will be my honor to step inside the ring with you and--



Icon: Whoah, whoah, whoah, what’s all this about a match? I agreed to do the whole Hall of Fame thing, get my money, and go home. I never agreed to anything about a match.



Seymour: Err, technically, you did. The contract for the Hall of Fame induction specifically states that the recipient must have one last exhibition match against a predetermined opponent, and they picked me. So…yeah.



Icon: …crap. I knew I shouldn’t have let Brooke handle my paperwork for me.



Seymour: Hey, don’t sweat it! It’ll just be a fun, easy little match that won’t even last five minutes. I’ll even let you go over! It’s not like I’ve got some huge blood feud against you or anything.



Sonny: Oh really now? That‘s not what you said when you signed the contract! Roll the tape!



”Seymour” : I’m Seymour, and I think Jack Icon is the biggest idiot ever! I can’t wait to get into the ring with him and smash his big stupid face in, because he’s a total loser and I hate his guts more than anything in the world!



Seymour: …Sonny, that tape was obviously a fake. It’s not like someone as awesome as Jack Icon would actually buy that--



Icon: YOOOOOUUUUUU!!!!!!!!



Seymour: …….oh dear.

BBQ: Looks like we’ve got ourselves a barn-burner of a surprise match! One night only, Icon vs. Seymour! The chances for brain-melting insanity are absolutely astronomical!

VC: I think before that match starts, we should all pray to escape with our sanity intact.



TNA WORLD MIDCARD CHAMPIONSHIP NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TOURNAMENT
MATCH THREE

OBJECTION!!



Xavier Livinston enters the arena to a mixed reaction.



BBQ: Xavier made it clear that he wasn't impressed with the way you regained the WORLD Midcard Championship at Trapped, Danny.



DE: And I should care what this NCW reject thinks!?


Xavier: I am a man of unquestionable integrity and act on behalf of all of those that have been unjustly treated. Tonight I will vanquish whomever should walk down this ramp to face me.



XL: And then I will go on to ForuMania IV to face the little git sat at ringside tonight. Daniel, I will be your judge, jury and executioner at ForuMania. And the only option you will be left with will be to enter a Plea Bargain.

DRIVE FRIENDLY

THE ENGLISH WAY



Langston makes his way to the ring.



VC: I thought this guy was dead!?



As Langston steps into the ring, Xavier is quick to attack with a knee to the side of the head.


DE: English looked a lot like me for a second there!




Xavier locks in a submission move.

BBQ: That must be the Plea Bargain he has locked in. Looks kinda painful don't you think Danny?



Danny looks worried at ringside.



Langston taps.

*DING* *DING*


WINNER BY SUBMISSION: XAVIER LIVINGSTON




After the bell, Xavier will not relinquish the hold.

*DING* *DING* *DING* *DING*



BBQ: What has gotten into Livingston here?

VC: I think he's trying to send a message to Danny here.

*DING* *DING* *DING* *DING* *DING* *DING*



*DING* *DING* *DING* *DING* *DING* *DING*

BBQ: Well he needs to be careful. This could end in a fine or a suspension or the ref coul--

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, Danny Electric has reversed the referee's decision.




DE sits at ringside with a smirk on his face.

WINNER: LANGSTON ENGLISH

[XL]

TNA WORLD MIDCARD CHAMPIONSHIP NUMBER ONE CONTENDER TOURNAMENT
MATCH FOUR

The BeamCast is
On
The
Air!




Beamer comes into the arena looking less than happy.



BBQ: Bobby Beamer is out for your blood Danny. I'd hate to be in your shoes at the moment.

DE: You wouldn't fit in my shoes you fat-footed freak!


BB: Danny Electric, you are on notice! I'm gonna come to that ring, beat whatever jabroni it is I end up facing and march onwards to ForuMania where I will take back what is mine.



BB: The last words you will here when you're laid out, looking up at the lights at ForuMania will be - yoooooouuuuuuuur winner and NEW WORLD Midcard Chaaaaaaaaaampion...



BB: "Baaaaaaaaadmouth" Bobby Beeeeeeeeeeaaaamer.



DE: ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZ.

BBQ: Very funny Danny.



Bobby continues to the ring with his game face on.


1-2-3 GO!



Triz enters the arena.



BBQ: Here's another guy that doesn't want any part of this tournament.


DE: He'll soon change his mind should he manage to worm his way through to the final.







Beamer and Smith stare each other down.

*DING* *DING*





BBQ: This is a huge match right here folks. Beamer has been a fine WORLD Midcard Champion and Triz is a fantastic up and comer.



Tony Hype makes his way through the crowd.

BBQ: What the hell is this Danny!?


DE: I have no idea what he's doing here BBQ!




Hype jumps the barrier.



Tony comes face to face with Bobby Beamer.



BBQ: Danny. what's going down here?





The two men circle each other.



Tony suprisingly grabs hold of Triz Smith.



And slams him to the mat with a Sitdown Powerbomb.



Triz is laid out in the ring.


DE: What the hell!?! What's he doing?

*DING DING DING*



Bobby stares down at Danny.


DE: Bobby, this is nothing to do with me!




Bobby turns his attention to Tony Hype.



Tony stares back at Bobby from ringside.



DE attacks from behind.



BBQ: Danny Electric taking advantage of a prone Bobby Beamer again here.



Danny nails the Electric Shock Drop.



BBQ: Danny Electric leaves Bobby Beamer laid out in the ring for the second show in a row.



Danny holds his title, looking at a fallen Bobby Beamer in the ring.

WINNER BY DQ: TRISMEGITUS SMITH

HAVOK INTERVIEW


Ian: Ian T. Viewer here joined by former NCW Champion,HavoK. Thank you for joining me here today. I understand it must be a very hard time for you. We're going to take a look at your time as a champion in retrospect. On every occasion you have had to struggle through multiple opponents or matches to win the gold, only to lose it in less than "fair" circumstances.



Ian: Back in TCW you became a World Champion for the first time when you managed to outlast the very best in our industry in the brutal Extermination Chamber.



Ian: Of course, that reign was cut short when Jabba was forced to strip you of the title due to some non-drug related personal issues.



HavoK: ...



Ian: Then, you returned when NCW became active again. You won your first NCW World Championship at World War II by first winning the third fall in a Triple Threat Match to become Number One Contender. That same night you dessimated Jack Icon to lift the title.



HavoK: ...



Ian: A month later at Taboo Jewsday, you lost the title in a Triple Threat Ladder Match, thus for the second time losing the title without being pinned.



HavoK: ...



Ian: A month later at Bash at the Bulge, you competed in a 5 Man Clusterfuck Match to earn a shot at the title later in the night. Here you became NCW Champion for the second time.



HavoK: ...



Ian: Shortly thereafter NCW went on "hiatus". Which lead you here to TNA, leading an invasion by NCW. The idea of which was to take over ForuMania and re-launch NCW from the ashes of TNA. You intended to do this by beating your long time rival James Steele in a match where one title would become defunct.



HavoK: ...



Ian: It seemes that you were relying on the appearance of Legend Killer and The Tank to aid you against Steele but they didn't show. Then Jabba tried to help out but Nowhere Man returned to scupper that plan. And of course MadMan appeared, shoving you into the steel steps and injuring your shoulder...



HavoK: ...



Ian: Then of course Steele locked you in the crossface, causing more damage and forcing you to tap out for the first time in your career. Between MadMan and Steele they damaged your shoulder to the point where surgery was required.



HavoK: ...



Ian: Sadly that surgery was not enough to fully repair the damage. The end result of which means that you have been forced to retire.



HavoK: ...



Ian: Well, HavoK...err...thank you for joining me today. Good luck in whatever the future holds for you.

[XL]

SPECIAL CHALLENGE MATCH
SOBER JOE v DENTON "DOUBLE TALK" DASH



"Double Talk" is already in the ring as we return from the interview with HavoK.

YES

WE

CAN


The crowd go wild as the Sober Submission Machine enters the arena.



BBQ: Joe's war against Colin Farrell and "Double Talk" Denton Dash was put on hold by Danny's ban on between show violence. Joe is looking for a fight tonight.

DE: I did it for their own good. We've just heard how HavoK has been retired due to unscheduled violence. I have a duty of care to these guys.



Joe storms into the ring...



And floors "Double Talk" with a clothesline before the bell even rings.



DT staggers to his feet.



Joe nails a hard kick to the face.



Joe stays on the attack with a Leg Lariat.



Joe hits the ropes...



And crashes down on "DT" with a Knee Drop.



Joe picks "DT" off the mat and hoists him on his shoulders.



BBQ: Joe is a man posessed. The bell never rang, this isn't even a match!



Joe drops Dash with a Death Valley Driver.



Before crashing down on his opponent with a Senton Splash.



Joe drags "DT" under the bottom rope.



VC: This is awesome! Joe's like one of those tanked up guys you see on a Saturday night in town - ready to fight anyone!


BBQ: And the scariest thought is that he's like this completely sober!!



Joe slams Denton into the barrier.



Joe then throws him back into the ring.





Back in the ring, Joe sets "Double Talk" up for his finisher.



BBQ: Here comes the Designated Driver.





Security and refs flood the ring to subdue Joe's wrath.



A ref checks on "Double Talk".



Manny Rattum comes through the crowd.





Joe is still being held back by security.



Manny nails the Thrown For A Loop on Joe as he is being held by security.



Manny holds the Incontinental Championship aloft.



Manny helps "Double Talk" to his feet as the "Dukes of Disappointment" head to the back.


BBQ: Did Guy Pearce just walk away with Joe's title? What will be the consequences?

VC: Would there be any for stealing the Inconsiquential Championship?

DE: I like your style V-man. Joe's welcome to take the title back - as long as it's in a non-violent way...




Joe is left seething on the mat.

WINNER: NO CONTEST

FORUMANIA IV MAIN EVENT CONTRACT SIGNING

BOW DOWN BEFORE THE ONE YOU SERVE

YOU’RE GOING TO GET WHAT YOU DESERVE





Nowhere Man makes his way to the ring, and grabs the mic.


NM: We've got some very important business to attend to - but first - Since Trapped, you have not known the location or the state of my old rival. Some have suggested that I have been subjecting him to tortures, or that I simply did away with him altogether. The time has come for answers.



NM: Jabba, come on out!

HERE COMES THE JABBA



Out comes Jabba, basking in the hostile crowd’s reaction.






Jabba: Y’know, Nowhere, I don’t know what you were thinking, but your little kidnapping scheme backfired! I feel better than ever!



Jabba: That’s right, folks. For whatever reason, Chuckles the Clown here thought it would be hilarious to lock me up in an old gymnasium, complete with rusty old dumbbells, equipment that could double as a trap in the next SAW movie, and dirty old wrestling manuals. And, then he just left me alone: no attacks, no mind-games, no godawful emo poetry, nothing!



Jabba: So, being the natural devious mastermind that I am, I decided to make the best of my time by studying my technique and getting super-ripped! You may not notice it under my sweet leather jacket, but I’m in the best shape of my life, and I can wrestle circles around you now!



NM: Good. That means that when I defeat you at Forum Mania, I’ll have defeated you on your best day. I’ll have taken you at your physical and mental peak, and brought you crashing down. And only--



Jabba: Hold on a second, Big Chief Running Mascara. While I was fine-tuning my body and mind into absolute perfection, I also happened to remember one little bit of detritus from my obscenely complicated former-co-owner contract: in any match in which I participate, I can add any stipulation of my choosing.



NM: Oh, this should be good.



Jabba: See, I know that even in my marvelously-sculpted form, I can’t exactly hang with someone who’s spent years in the ring. So instead, I’m going to even the playing field a bit. At any point in the match, I get a three-minute tag-out.



NM: And that is…?



Jabba: Simple. I call for the tag out, and for three minutes I get to rest up while you face an opponent of my choosing. And wouldn’t you know it? There’s only one major player in TNA whose name isn’t already on the dance card, and it just so happens to be the one guy who hates you more than I do…



Paul: ME!!!!



Jabba: Oh, and Paul gets to wrestle under no-DQ rules, while you don’t. Life’s a bitch, huh?



Jabba: Here’s to Forum Mania, NM! Looking forward to taking over again after your funeral!




VC: This looks pretty grim for Nowhere Man! Sure, he could beat Jabba pillar to post, but with Paul getting to interfere whenever he likes, the deck is certainly stacked against him!

BBQ: You said it! Jabba’s turning out to be slipperier than a greased-up pig anus!

VC: ….you fucking disgust me.


NM: Despite Jabba's news, I still have some business to attend to.I have in my hands the document that will seal two men’s fates. As the curtain raises on the final act, I have the final say as director on how these last moments play out. But before we reach the crescendo, it is time to meet the players.



DE: So Nowhere Man ends the most violent RAW in history by having two guys sign a piece of paper!? Talk about anti-climatic


LOOK IN MY EYES

WHAT DO YOU SEE?





Out comes Inno to a monster pop.








SEEK. BURY. DESTROY.







The cheers continue for the World Heavyweight Champion.








NM: Inno…Steele…any last thoughts before you set yourself on the final stretch of your journey?



Inno: Just one: no matter how you deal it, the Ace always trumps the King.



Steele: Just keep telling yourself that. It won’t change the fact that this is the closest you’ll ever get to my World Title ever again.



NM: Very well then. If you two will then sign the contract…



NM: Hmmm…it seems the pen is out of ink…that means you’ll have to find a new way to leave your mark on the contract….



NM: …with each other’s blood! By means of a First Blood Match…starting now!

[XL]

NM bails, and the two contestants immediately tear into each other.



Steele pummels Inno with some hard right hands…



…and the challenger responds with a concussive dropkick!



Steele tumbles out of the ring…





…and Inno is quick to follow, flattening Steele with an Asai moonsault!



On the outside. Inno puts the boots to the champ…









…until Steele fights back and slams Inno head-first into the steel ring steps!



With Inno down, the King of Heels digs under the ring…



…and finds his sledgehammer!

BBQ: This looks like it could be it!



Steele winds up…


*CRACK!*



Inno is busted wide open, and the match is over!



VC: Waitaminute, it looks like the Champ ain’t done!

BBQ: DON’T DO IT, JAMES! BAHGAWD, YOU SICK BASTARD YOU!

*CRACK!*



*CRACK!*



*CRACK!*



*CRACK!*



*CRACK!*



Inno is left a bloody mess on the floor, while Steele poses over him, smearing his blood across his face.



DE: Wait. Did Steele just turn heel again already!?


BBQ: What a brutal, bloody statement made by the World Champion! Could this be a sign of things to come?!

VC: I hope not; it’d be lame as hell to have the biggest match of the year end in a DQ.



END SHOW

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

Joe: Joe Don Baker, you've stuck your nose in my business for the last time.



Joe: You can mess with a man's career, his health, and his family...



Joe: But putting your hands on another man's belt...



Joe: That is where I draw the line, Baker.



Joe: As soon as I'm done here, I'm gonna head for Nowhere Man's office, and have him add you to my match with Ernest Borgnine.



Joe: And don't think I'll go easy on you, just because we share a first name.



Joe: I'm gonna do to you, exactly what I did to Double-Scotch.



Joe: Only this time... You made it personal.



Joe: Get ready for the beating of your life.







Joe: *Wink*

[Afterlife]

Hey, Joe. Looky what I got. Shiny, huh? But before we start on this pretty little belt, I wanna touch on something more pressing...



It was smart of you to attack Double Talk before your match started -- ineffective, as a sloppy bitch like you couldn't hurt him, anyway -- but a preemptive strike was definitely a good idea.



Woulda been even better strategy if you'd let your match start before trying to finish him...



But, hey, baby steps, right? We can't all learn at a 6th grade pace.



Anyway, while Double Talk awaits a real match with you, I figured I'd let you know that I only took the belt as...let's say, incentive.



I don't want -- nay, I don't need to be "added" to the match at 'Mania. What I need is to have the match set right. You and me, one on one, the better man wins.



No triple threats --



-- No Borgnine --



-- Just the One-Man Group Therapy Session vs. The Unforgettable Manny Rattum.



You manage to pull that together -- the way it ought to be -- and I'll give you your title back, personally -- properly -- live on Raw. But rest assured, either way, at ForumMania....



...This new look is official.

[Savior]

Paul: For 3 minutes I will be able to deal Nowhereman justice.... Nowhereman I don't care if you win or lose your match. The only thing I care about is the 3 minutes where I am able to make you feel all the pain you have dealt me over the years.


I WILL MAKE YOU BEG for forgiveness. I will make you look into my eyes to try to find mercy and I will show you the same mercy you have shown me over the years....None. I don't want you to train for me Nowhereman. You haven't thought of me as a threat for years why start now? You are a former TNA champion you shouldn't have to train for either of us. Come on big man your not feeling scarred are you?


hahaha

Whether I help Jabba win or even if he comes up short. Come Mania I will put you through pain.

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

Don't all promo at once.

[Nowhere Man]

Seriously, I don't know how we're going to keep up with it.

[XL]

Err, gentlemen, I was under the impression that the only bitching allowed was about how long it takes to post a show!?

Besides people have probably been taken by suprise and weren't expecting it so soon!

[Innovator]

24 stitches, sweet. Combine your assault with the whiplash I got from seeing the show went up, and you can tell I'm beat up right now. You see I don't make excuses, when I get beat I get beat, but Jimmy I don't have to bust you open with a sledgehammer. I don't need a 4 page promo, I don't need any foreign object, I don't need a go home line for every line...



Cause I'm Inno. I'm TNA. I'm the Next World Champion. My head will heal, but taking your title will leave you permanently scarred.

[XL]

Good work Danny. You got me good. Out of the running to face you at ForuMania. And for the second time in two shows you get one up on me.



That was literally adding injury to the insult that you caused when you stole the WORLD Midcard Championship from me at Trapped.



Danny, you are putting the DE in delusional if you think that we are done. I don't need it to be on the "Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigest Show of the Year" to give you the biiiiiiiiiiiiigest ass kicking of the ye--






Oh. Hey Bobby. Didn't really expect to see you out here. I mean, you couldn't be cutting a promo - that would be pointless as you don't have a match scheduled for the biggest PPV of the year.



We're on the Road to ForuMania and Bobby Beamer just blew out a tire. But don't worry Bobby, you will be at ForuMania!



Y'see we're gonna need a ring announcer on the night and I think you fit the bill - with a little training perhaps. That's right Bobby, it's gonna be your job to announce "Yooooooooouuuuuuuuur winner and STILL WORLD Midcard Champion..."Mr Entertainment" Danny Eeeeeeeeeeeeelectric!!



Funny you should mention "stealing" a title though. This past Raw we saw Matt Damon wonder off with Sumo Joe's Inconsiquential Title. Lemme just remind Joe that he - and any one else under a TNA contract - must not use any physical violence between shows.



Whilst we're on the subject of the Inconsiquential Title, it's been brought to my attention that many of you seem to think that "Mr E" made an error when writing up the contract for the match pitting Sumo Joe versus Leonardo DiCaprio.



Well I will not have my good name dragged through the mud like that! I know exactly who Joe is facing at ForuMania and I'm gonna bring him out right now!

REMEMBER THE NAME




Welcome Tobey Maguire. We've not been formally introduced, I'm Danny Electric - Midcard Manager and WORLD Midcard Champion. I bet you can't wait to face off against Joe at ForuMania.



Oh, him? Don't worry about him. He doesn't even have a match on the show! Nobody tunes in to watch that guy.



Okay Danny. Ha. Ha. Very cute. Danny, whether it's in a match at ForuMania or not, you're gonna get what's coming to ya.



Y'know I would love to come down to that ring and smack that ridiculous face off your shoulders but I need to be seen to be setting an example.



Danny, you made the rule, you can lift it if you wanna come get some. I'm just itching for a fi --



Tony Hype comes out of nowhere.



Slamming Beamer to the mat with a Sitout Powerbomb.


You were saying something Bobby!? And before anyone cries about the ban on violence being broken...the ban only applies to people contracted to TNA, Tony has a contract with me!

[Kapoutman]

Great show guys. I'll post something soon. I SWEAR!

[XL]

Well, it's nearly the weekend (which usually means no promos), the show will have been up for a week and we've had (barely) 5 promos.

Odd that everyone was bitching bout getting the show up!?

[James Steele]

BITCHAMANIA IS RUNNIN' WILD!!!!

[Savior]

I've said it before that people lose interest if shows aren't put up quicker. Either that or they feel that they have quite of bit of time to promo

[XL]

I appreciate that. And I'll hold my hands up to the fact that the shows haven't gone up as quickly as I would like, but you guys don't seem to appreciate the other side of the coin.

Promos take 10-15 minutes to put together. You use pics that you probably have saved somewhere cos you've used them before. And if you don't promo, someone else will, so that fills the gap.

Writing a show is a little different. I have to source pictures for other people's guys. Oddly enough I don't have a gallery full of pics for the likes of Edge or Ted DiBiase. Granted people create galleries but more often than not they only include pics they have used and so the gallery is full of promo pics which are useless for a show.

Now let's add in the fact that I work fulltime and have shifts that often leave me with 9 hours between finishing work and having to be back there. I believe Jabba was unemployed during NCW's heyday. I also like a social life and have recently made a new lady friend. Have you tired explaining to your firends or girlfriend that you can't do anything tonight cos you gotta stay in and write matches for a fantasy wrestling show!?

I appreciate that most of this won't wash with Savior as he managed to bust out a show every week or so, but honestly, I hate (no offence) the Savior style of show writing.

And perhaps more so, did nobody think that I didn't wanna get to ForuMania without NM being involved!? I mean, it is his show after all.

All in all it seems you guys don't appreciate the fact that I was writing shows as a stop-gap whilst NM was away. I was doing you lot a favour. After all the bitching I've kinda "lost my smile" for C-Fedding to the point where I've had to drop the character I created to lighten the workload.

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

Filling up a gallery doesn't take that long, but very few people bother.

[Innovator]

You lost your smile? I didn't know you don't want to job to Bret Hart

The bitching goes both ways. I'll try to get a longer promo out tomorrow but had to get something up

[Savior]

If you have so much stuff going on in your life then why no pass it off to someone?

[XL]

To who? Didn't really see anyone with their hand raised. Besides, like I said, getting shows up quicker would have meant we were well past FM without NM's input. Which I didn't wanna do.

Anyways, NM is back now so that leaves me with having to book the Midcard - which is what we agreed on anyways.

I was just asking for a little understanding...and for people to promo

[XL]

On a side note: we/I have plans for everybody for FM, nobody is being left of the card at the minute. Things might change if people don't promo at all though.

[Savior]

Hmmm didn't know NM was back writing.

[XL]

He wrote the Contract Signing and NM/Jabba segment for this show.

[Afterlife]

Good evening, Mr. Electric.

Sweet Jesus, it's real.



My name is Orrin T. Quoyle, Eccentric Crackpot Millionaire. I come to discuss the situation surrounding the Intercontinental Championship match at the even known as ForumMania. It seems--



I'm gonna stop you right there, Freak-o. I don't care how much money you've got or what your "clothes" are made of. You don't tell me how to run my show.



I will advise you, sir, I own 1/8th of all of Jabba's investments, thus--

And if Jabba was the real boss around here, that would mean something.



Imagine, if you will, a world where I give a damn about you and your no-name title bandit...



Now come back to reality, where the only person I answer to is Nowhere Man -- and that's if I feel like it. A reality, I might add, in which I can strip Julio Iglesias of the very ability to earn title shots, making his presence in this company completely void of purpose. And at that point...I mean, why keep that kind of loser on the payroll?



Oh, I'm sorry -- was there something you wanted to say?



I do hold a measure of executive authority, sir. Watch your tone, and fix the match. I hear you're good at that kind of thing.



You know what? Go back to the end of your rainbow and tell Marvin Gaye I'm correcting the damn match. But if I see you before ForumMania...



...I am kicking your ass.

[Innovator]

LOOK IN MY EYES WHAT DO YOU SEE?





















James Steele.



You fucking fool. You see last time we had an epic encounter I was just looking to retain my title, and I nearly ended your career.



So in the biggest display of idiocy since Paul pissed off Jabba and Nowhere, you decide to lay me out with a sledgehammer. Now I'm not just coming to win my title back...



I'm coming to kick your ass!



I can IPS you all day until you get IBS, I can lock the Cobra Kai in until you ask me to show you mercy. Hell I could Last Exit you repeatedly until you BEG me to end your miserable excuse for a title reign.





On RAW, please just show up. I want to give you but just a taste of what you're in store for at my show, ForuMania.

[James Steele]

James Steele: Hey Inno! I'm up here on the huge screen.



I am glad you are feeling so confident. I damn sure don't want to get Innovator Lite™ as we inch closer and closer to immortality.



I'm sorry I haven't been on my usual promo rantings lately, but I've been busy filming a huge series of sit-down personal interviews.


Inno, you and the entire world will find out more than you ever wanted to know about me when these interviews begin to air.


I'll see you at RAW...and I hope I get to hear your skull crack again...


Maybe next time, you'll learn to stay down and take your place as a TNA Has-Been and quit trying to cling to that last glimmer of hope.


If you won't accept that fact...then reality is going to hit you harder than my sledgehammer at ForumMania.

[XL]

Danny Electric, "Badmouth" Bobby Beamer has been unusually quiet since your actions on Raw.



Yes he has. I imagine that Bobby is saving his voice for his very important job at ForuMania. He's gonna need the full power of his voice when he announces me as the winner of the WORLD Midcard Championship match.



Speaking of that match, the four men through to the Semi Finals - MadMan, Triz Smith, Jizzton Baldcock and Langston English - have also been quiet.




Yes they have. Does it bother me as the Midcard Manager? No. It just proves the point that I should be holding this title. It just proves the point that I am the best the Midcard has to offer. And it proves the point that none of those guys are on my level.



Regardless of that Danny you will have to face one of them at ForuMania...



Sadly. Then again, there's still time for things to change before the opening bell of ForuMania. Who knows who I could end up facing!?



How about we pull MVP out of retirement and have a Hall of Famer versus future Hall of Famer match!? Or that kid from NCW - what's his name? - what about I beat him at ForuMania!? Or maybe even I fac--



What about Danny Electric versus Tony Hype!?



I bin doin' a lotta crackin' skulls for ya Danny. Makes me wonda if I couldn't crack yours!?



Oh yeah!? You want a piece of this? You want a shot at my WORLD Midcard Championship!? Well, you're on! Well, you would be...if you had a TNA contract. But you don't, so you're not!



Bottom line is this: it doesn't matter if I face MadMan, English, Baldcock or Smith. It doesn't matter if I face a giant, a dwarf or a giant dwarf. Whoever, whatever I face at ForuMania the outcome will be the same...Winner and still WORLD Midcard Champion, Danny Electric.

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

Joe: Hey, Barry Van Dyke... Your belt-stealing antics have proven useless against me.



Joe: As you can see, this towel is a more than adequate replacement...



Joe: Eliminating the mental edge you thought you'd gained.



Joe: As for our match...



Joe: I spoke with Ernest Borgnine's management, and they agreed to pull him from the competitive side of the match, on the condition that he act as referee.



Joe: Despite my bitter hatred for Mr. Borgnine, I agreed to their stipulation. All that remains is for TNA management to sign the new contract.



Joe: So, you got your wish.



Joe: A one-on-one match with the Sober Submission Machine.



Joe: But... When that bell rings, you're gonna wish there was a third man in there, to take some of the punishment that I'll be laying down on you.



Joe: Be careful what you wish for, Barry.

[Alan The Rapist]

Triz, I'm glad I found you! I've been looking for you everywhere! Tell me: how do you feel about the way your qualifying match ended with Bobby Beamer?



You might say I'm a tad irked, Roach. Danny knew that I wouldn't have stood in Beamer's way, so he had me attacked. Clever stuff. Real clever.



But you know what, Danny? It's not exactly clever enough. Your boy Fat Tony isn't under contract, as you pointed out. Thus, he is not bound by TNA rules -- thus, apparently, he can attack anyone he wants at any time. I guess it all depends on the paycheck--



Well, paging Tony Hype! I got a blank check with your name on it, just dying to hit your account!



It's waiting for ya, anytime you wanna pick it up. You just come see me at your earliest convenience, and we'll discuss the terms of the agreement. I can't offer you a title match or a contract...



..But I'll gladly pay the Electric Bill.

[XL]

Danny, Tony, we saw a little dissention in the ranks between the two of you and now Triz Smith has offered up a blank cheque to you Tony Hype...



Now let's not get carried away wid dose crossed words between me an Da--



Yeah, it's very clever of Triz to try and unsettle Tony but perhaps Trizzy should concentrate on his match on Raw. Triz is just a couple of steps away from facing me on the "Biggest Show of All Time".



All he has to do is face former TNA World Champion MadMan in his Semi-Final match on Raw and then defeat the winner of Langston English versus Jizzton Baldcock later on the show.



That's pretty big news Danny but I was hoping to have word from Tony.



Well--



Let's get this straight. Tony Hype is a mercenary. Tony Hype is my mercenary. And Tony Hype is good at his job. That's the end of it. Let's be quiet on that subject shall we?



But Danny...



And speaking of being quiet...we're still to hear from Bobby Beamer. And y'wanna know why?



Not really.



Beamer realises there's nothing less to say. All the words have been said and after the fued of the year I am the victor. And with that said I have nothing left to say...




*Danny walks away*


Danny's right bout one thing: I am a mercenary. Which means it's all bout Da Pay Off.

[Afterlife]

Heyyy, you're on the BeamCast, go ahead.

Hey! Just callin' to see what the problem is.



Uh, could you be a little more specific? The world's got lotsa problems these days, caller.

Are you autistic or something? I'm not talking about the stupid world, I'm talking about you being afraid to speak out!



Speak out about what?

About wha--?? Jeezit--!! You mid-western ass bandit fuckbrain! Are you playing stupid, or are you the real deal? I made you the ring announcer for ForumMania, and you don't make a peep about it?!



Danny?

Of course! I swear, talking to you is like banging my head on a table. So, what is it? Why haven't we heard from you? Are you just too embarrassed by your position? Did I defeat you so miserably in our little rivalry that you can't bear to show your face on TNA programming? Are you gonna run and cry like a little girl, or will you muster the guts to be a man? Because come ForumMania, even if you show, I'll be the real man. The champion! And it doesn't matter how much you cry: 80,000 TNA fans will witness the moment when I totally fuck the whiny little girl!



*ahem* Well. Danny... This is the studio line.

What does that--



...Oh.



You are a giant bag of dicks. *click*



We'll be right back.

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

Do we have a card yet? If so, I can't find it.

[Gone Mad]

THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE IS RATED M...




Mad: Ladies and gentlemen, in case you forgot... in case you have a bad memory and can't quite put a name to this face. It's ok, it's been what... 2 months since we had a show? It's ok...

I am the Mad One. The 2-time former world champ. MADMAN.

I am here to say that I WILL be at Forummania...


BUT I WILL NOT BE MADE A FOOL OR AN A JOBBER FOR THESE JACKASSES!

Midcard belt?! Give me a break! It's below me. I'm not one to turn away a belt or a challenge, but I got this one in the bag. I GOT IT!


BOOKERS... DANNY... is this your idea of a JOKE!?!

I can take Trig, Jizzer, AND X all in one shot. I've held more belts than they have OR ever will! I AM GONNA DESTROY THEM AND MAKE SURE THERE IS NO MIDCARD LEFT!

You all wanna make your way to the top, DO YOU? DO YOU, YOU DIRTY SONS OF BITCHES?!


Well... That's too bad. Because the M-Rated Megastar is higher and holier than thou.

And I am the gatekeeper to get to the other side, to that top you so richly want. And I don't give free passes. And I come to win every time. And the Mad King of Rock will not QUIT!

Unlike...


Heh... unlike those who I've fought in the past.

Because after me... they just quit. Because I crush them AND their dreams.

Just look at Havok...


He makes me sick, that former NCW piece of dog crap! Just like all the others who come across me, they just say die. Azriel gave up. Thunder who? Disturbed? WHOEVER!

Fact is... they're gone. Anyone I get in contact with... GETS CRUSHED!


So good. Retire, Havok. I can go and win another title, another accolade to my collection! Because I'm not a dreamer like you or Joe or Inno and especially like the fans!

I promise victory. I promise pain. And it happens!

At Raw, whatever the show brings me, I promise you all this...


I will be going to Forummania.

I will steal the show and win the belt and defeat anyone in my way.

And I am going to piss you all off because you will never be me. You'll never achieve what I have done. You are not the Mad One and you can trust me on that...


... BITCH!

[XL]

RAW IS RATINGS 4


WORLD MIDCARD CHAMPIONSHIP
NUMBER ONE CONTENDERSHIP TOURNAMENT

SEMI-FINALS

TRISMEGISTUS SMITH vs MADMAN

LANGSTON ENGLISH vs JIZZTON BALDCOCK

FINAL

??? vs ???

--------------------------------------------------------

NCW ALUMNI MATCH:
MANNY RATTUM vs. SEYMOUR

WARM-UP HANDICAP MATCH:
JABBA/PAUL vs. ???

MAIN EVENT "MAKE AN EXAMPLE" MATCHES:
INNO vs. JAMES STEELE CLASSIC

JAMES STEELE vs. INVISIBLE

CARD MAY BE SUBJECT TO CHANGE....

...of the Groovy kind...

[Innovator]

LOOK IN MY EYES WHAT DO YOU SEE?
















James Steele, I know how to make an example out of someone better than anyone in the CFED world. I've already made an example out of you before, this time it's against James Steele "Classic".



Now I'm not the guy who needs a 5 page promo to get my point across. I'm also not the man bringing E-Feds back. All I am is the Next World Champion.



We're closing in minute by minute, second by second to the biggest ForuMania main event TNA and the world will ever witness. And I am closing in on getting my title back.



Look In My Eyes Jimmy,what do you see? You know what is it?



Your fate

[NoJabbaNoBogRoll]

Crowd: BOOOOOOOO!!!







Crowd: YOU SUCK!!!







Jabba: This is a sad time for me, folks.



Jabba: I've had a lot of fun, beating Nowhere Man in the ratings, over the years.



Jabba: But when I beat him at ForuMania, our epic rivalry will be ended... Once and for all.



Jabba: It brings a tear to my eye.







Jabba: The only thing that keeps me going, is the thought that when it's all over, Nowhere Man will be more than welcome to wash my car, should he need a few bucks.



Jabba: So the Nowhere Family will not go hungry.



Jabba: Once I run that face-painted clown out of town, it will be time for the Jabba era to get back on track.



Jabba: Without Nowhere Man to hold his hand, Danny Electric will come to me for help.



Jabba: Who better to run TNA... Than Jabba?









Jabba: Get used to it, you low-life punks, because when I'm finished with Nowhere Man, he's gonna be out of this industry... For good!



Jabba: So make sure you tune into Raw, for a sneak preview of ForuMania.



Jabba: With Paul on my side, somebody is being taken out. And then it's on to the biggest show of the year... Where Nowhere Man will learn a lesson he should've picked up a long time ago.



Jabba: You don't cross the Jabba-man.

[James Steele]

Rabbit: Welcome to the set, Mr. Steele! We are excited about you doing your 1st one-on-one interview before ForumMania here!

James Steele: Am I in Donnie Darko?


Dude, after the show we need to go bail out a buddy of mine and go party.

Sir, we are about to hit the air. Get ready to go out on stage.

Mike The Host: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight is the TNA World Heavyweight Champion and will headline ForumMania IV against Innovator...please welcome JAMES STEELE!

xxx

xxx



Welcome Mr. Steele, are you ready to talk to the world?

Only if we get more big band music...I love swing!



You can sit down now.

OK.


Mr. Steele, these people are going nuts. I have to ask, why are you so popular with these people?


Well, I feel like a large part of it has to do with the fact I am facing a gap-toothed emo kid.

HAHA. Does the guy listen to My Chemical Romance and In Living Colour?



***EMO-VATOR! EMO-VATOR! EMO-VATOR!***


*** INNOVERRATED! INNOVERRATED! INNOVERRATED! ***


Don't bury the guy, he still needs to put me over!


In all seriousness, I respect the hell out of Inno and we will tear down the house and the ForumMania main event will finally deliver.

You two faced off years ago, correct?


Yeah, and I was the hot young up-and-coming superstar while Inno was the established guy who was World Champion and on a collision course with a ForumMania main event.


This match is very cool to me because of the role reversal from our last one-on-one match. I was trying to prove I was a top-level guy, and Inno was the established World Champion defending the title and building his legacy.


Now, I am the World Champion defending the title and cementing my legacy while Inno is trying to prove that he is still a top-level elite performer. We both are big names, and we are sort of beyond the usual "bad guy/good guy" thing. We both are respected by all of c-fedding and have likeable and hateable qualities.

Like what?


Well, I am an arrogant asshole.

HAHA

However, people enjoy that I am passionate about c-fedding and go all out matter what.


Inno is a legend and has sacrificed his mind body and soul for caption entertainment, but he can come off like a whiny cunt.

You can't say cunt on TV.

Fuck...

...


Anyway, this week on RAW is Ratings we are doing a "Make an Example" match for Inno and myself.


Inno gets to face my mildly retarded brother Shawn, who dresses up like I did when I first started in c-fedding and calls himself James Steele Classic.


I have the massive challenge, and honor, of facing C-Fed Hall of Famer Invisible.


Invisible hasn't been seen in years and was in a stable with Inno many moons ago. I am excited about facing him, but I have no clue what will happen on RAW. All I know is that I will do whatever it takes to beat the living shit out of Invisible and send a message to Inno...I am still at the top of my game.



Well, we're out of time and once again thank you Mr. Steele for stopping by. We wish you the best of luck at ForumMania!

Where the hell is that rabbit?

[Nowhere Man]

Seymour: Man, I can't wait to see what it's like wrestling in the TNA ring! First I get to prove that I SHOULD HAVE BEEN NCW CHAMPION LIKE THREE TIMES NOW...err, that I'm still in good enough shape to compete, against Manny Rattum. And then a Forum Mania match against Jack Icon?! This is pretty sweet!



Sonny: What, you're not worried about the fact that you lost to Manny Rattum the one time you actually fought him? And the fact that Icon is probably going to render you into chunky salsa?



Seymour: Not really. I mean, sure, Rattum's a tough competitor and he's got backup from that one guy who talks like he's doing a bad "echo" effect all the time, but he's got a really super-mad Sober Joe on his tail, too. And I always have Terrance's magic to try and ward off any attacks from Jack Icon, right?



Sonny: .....



Seymour: .....right?



Terrance: Ermmm, yeah, about that. Ever go fishing, and accidentally catch something way bigger than you expected, so big it actually breaks your fishing pole?



Seymour: ...oh boy. I don't like where this is going.



Terrance: See, I was hoping to ascend to the highest peak of Unkown Kadath to commune with the Elder Gods in order to divine a strategy against Jack Icon. I opened up the Gates of Shub-Niggurath to try and snare a minor demon to guide me, but what did I get? You guessed it, a Lich Mind-Flayer. The four-armed undead squid-headed fiend actually managed to sap me of one sorceror level every time he grappled me, which was a lot.



Seymour: ...you mean--



Terrance: That's right. I'm back down to Level 1, a freaking newbie again. I can barely sling a Magic Missile, let alone sunder the fabric of reality itself like I used to!



Seymour: So....no magic, no evil clones to back me up, no Slater for all I know of...



Sonny: Oh, and no Dementia either! Remember? She slapped that restraining order on you after you sent all those sappy mix tapes and suicide threats! I can't get over that! DEMENTIA, of all people, thought that you were too crazy for her!



Seymour: Yes, Sonny, thank you for pouring salt on that open wound there. Okay, so with none of my usual tricks to fall back on, looks like I'll have to take on Manny and Jack Icon the old-fashioned way. I'll beat them, and I'll do it fair and square.



Sonny: .....



Terrance: .....



Sonny: BAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHA-HAAAA! I...I just....HAAAAAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I CAN'T BREATHE, I CAN'T HAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!



Terrance: HAHAHAHA OH GOD, OH GOD, I THINK I JUST SHIT MY PANTS, AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!



Seymour: I hate you guys.