WrestleMania 26 Intro
WELCOME TO TONIGHT’S COVERAGE BY TRIPLE A.
Live from Phoenix, Arizona
Announcer welcomes the “ladies and gentlemen” to WrestleMania.
“Multi platinum recording artist” and “8 time Grammy nominee” Fantasia sings “America the Beautiful” while there are shots of deserts and birds and grains. Some waterfalls.
Some shots of ethnic children.
Crowd cheers for her.
WrestleMania intro package is played, hyping up the card and whatnot.
“Slim Jim and WWE present the entertainment spectacular, WrestleMania.”
Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler announcing.
Michael Cole calls the University of Phoenix Stadium “the big toaster” for some reason.
First match is The Miz & Big Show vs. R-Truth & John Morrison.
The Miz & Big Show vs. R-Truth & John Morrison – Unified Tag Team Title
R-Truth comes out and raps. Some white woman in the crowd really enjoying it.
Gets into the ring and says, “WrestleMania! What’s up!”
Cole welcomes us to WrestleMania again. He, Lawler, and Matt Striker are announcing.
Cole introduces the Spanish announce team. One of them says something in Spanish.
John Morrison comes out.
The Big Show and Miz come out together to no reaction.
The bell rings.
John Morrison and The Miz start off.
K-Kwik jumps in and “fucks up” The Miz but the Big Show is tagged and comes in and gives R-Truth a fall away slam. Shoves Morrison off the apron with one hand. Goes up to the middle rope but is kicked in the face by Morrison. “A lil payback!!!” – Michael Cole
Morrison comes in and does some sweet stuff.
R-Truth jumps to the outside onto Big Show but Show catches him and slams him into the post outside.
Morrison tries to do some moonsault off the rope but The Big Show was tagged in before and he punches Morrison in the face? And he pins him.
Winners: The Big Show & The Miz
Recap of WrestleMania Weekend
Bunch of clips recapping all the stuff that happened, including:
Cena on Jimmy Fallon.
Shows a bunch of foreigners who came here “just to see WrestleMania.”
WrestleMania art show.
WrestleMania golf tournament. Sgt. Slaughter “sinks a shot” and says “that’s how you do it, baby.”
WrestleMania “reading challenge” with some lil kids. Some guy talking about changing the lives of individuals with this.
Chris Jericho on Lopez Tonight.
Some other shit.
Next match is Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes
Randy Orton vs. Ted DiBiase vs. Cody Rhodes
Ted DiBiase comes out first.
Cody Rhodes next.
Orton comes in. Looking very handsome.
Rhodes and DiBiase try to corner Orton but he rolls out of the ring… Rhodes follows him out but Orton quickly rolls back in and clotheslines DiBiase.
Rhodes and DiBiase finally take down Orton and start to “pummel” him as the crowd boos.
They take turns stomping at him.
They take turns holding Orton as the other punches and kicks him.
Double suplex on Orton. DiBiase plays to the crowd as they boo.
Taunts Orton, saying things like, “come on Randy!”
Stomping at Orton in the corner as the crowd sounds annoyed.
Orton suddenly gets a new breath and tries to fight back for 8.5 seconds, but DiBiase clotheslines him and down he goes again. Rhodes and DiBiase continue to double team him.
Rhodes goes to the top rope and DiBiase goes for a pin. Rhodes runs down and pulls DiBiase off of Orton and gets in his face, then throws DiBiase out of the ring as the crowd cheers.
Rhodes tries to pin Orton but DiBiase comes in and breaks up the near fall.
They get in each other’s face and DiBiase punches Rhodes, then they start to “brawl” while Orton recuperates. DiBiase runs at Orton but he tosses him out of the ring. Orton “fucking destroys” Rhodes, then Orton.
Orton gets ready to finish Rhodes as DBiase is on the outside. Crowd “loves it.” But DiBiase pulls Orton’s legs down.
DiBiase and Orton stand on the apron outside but Orton grabs both of their heads and gives them a double DDT while their legs hang from the middle rope.
Orton stares down Rhodes with a “crazy” look in his eyes as Rhodes struggles to get up. Crowd cheers. Orton goes to the corner and “kicks the shit out of” Rhodes’s face. DiBiase comes in from behind with the Million Dollar Dream but Orton counters and hits the RKO. 1-2-3.
Winner: Randy Orton
Backstage Interview: Vicky Guerrero, Santino Marella, Gene Okerlund, Mae Young
“Don’t try this at home” promo.
Drank some coffee, need to take a huge leak right now.
Vicky Guerrero interviewed backstage alongside some “bitches.”
She grabs the mic and says “as we all know, this WrestleMania will be forever…” Crowd boos.
“Excuse me! Will be forever known as Vicky Guerrero’s first WrestleMania match. Tonight I will create a moment that will live in history forever.”
Some blonde chick comes in and sings “Simply the Best.” I have not watched wrestling in so many years. No idea who the F this is, soz.
Santino Marella comes in and says “anything is possible when you bite into a Slim Jim.”
He bites into it and the chick turns into Mae Young. Mae Young tries to kiss him but he takes another bite and Mae Young turns into Mean Gene Okerlund in a dress. He says “you gotta be kidding me! Who did you expect?”
He bites again and Okerlund turns into “Maria.” She smiles and he says “Slim Jim” and they walk off together.
Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Kofi Kingston comes out first.
Bunch of ladders “chilling” in the aisle.
Everyone just brawling in the ring, battle royal style.
Everyone eventually clears to the outside while Drew McIntyre grabs a ladder all alone in the ring and tries to climb up but Matt Hardy pushes the ladder down.
Evan Bourne climbs the ladder and touches the briefcase, but Kane grabs him and tosses him to the outside.
Matt Hardy and Jack Swagger climb up together but they are knocked down with another ladder by Kofi Kingston.
Christian picks up a ladder and throws it in the corner then monkey flips Kingston into the ladder.
Christian tries to climb up but Ziggler knocks him down.
Ziggler alone in the ring and climbs up but MVP comes in and pulls his leg off violently and Ziggler falls hard to the ring.
Kane comes in and grabs MVP by the throat but Kingston hits Kane with a ladder.
The three black wrestlers grab a ladder and nail Kane with it in the corner.
Benjamin jumps at Kane but he grabs him and throws him down onto a ladder.
More brawling and Shelton Benjamin is somehow left alone in the ring. Climbs up but Jack Swagger comes in with a ladder and knocks him down.
Evan Bourne off the top rope and into Swagger, knocking him down.
Three ladders in the ring.
Evan Bourne and Christian try to climb up the ring after forming a platform of ladders on both sides. Bourne kicks Christian down and is left alone on the ladder but hits some sweet high flying move off the ladder onto Christian. He climbs up and touches the briefcase but Matt Hardy runs in and punches him then throws him down hard off the top of the ladder.
Jack Swagger grabs Hardy as he tries to grab the briefcase and he pushes him and Hardy flips and falls onto the horizontal ladder platform. “Cool spot” there.
Benjamin and MVP fight on the ladder. MVP tries to powerbomb Benjamin but he gives him a hurricanrana to the outside.
Kane hits both of them with a ladder and goes into the ring and climbs up the ladder but Ziggler climbs on Kane’s back and over him. He is touching the briefcase but Kane pushes the ladder and Ziggler falls hard.
Kane chokeslams Ziggler onto the ladder then sandwiches him in between the ladder, eventually ripping the ladder off its hinges.
Kofi Kingston grabs the ladder that was broken in half by Kane.
He uses the ladder as a pair of STILTS. lol
He climbs up and almost reaches the ladder but McIntyre ruins it and knocks him down as the crowd boos. McIntyre grabs a fresh ladder and climbs up, all alone in the ring. He is very close but Matt Hardy runs in and they battle up top. Hardy is knocked down but he gets up and pushes McIntyre down and he falls “crotch first” onto the top rope.
Matt Hardy climbs alone in the ring. He is trying to unhook the briefcase. Kane comes in with another ladder. Christian climbs the second ladder and battles with Matt Hardy atop both ladders. KANE runs up on the other side and grabs them both but he is knocked down.
Christian and Hardy continue to battle on the top of both ladders. Christian hits the Twist of Fate off the top of the ladder.
He starts to climb up but Jack Swagger runs in and pushes him off. Christian touching the briefcase but Swagger battles him on top of the ladder. Swagger grabs the briefcase and slams it into Christian’s head. He grabs it and tries to unhook it for like 30 seconds… then finally does it and he WINS.
Winner: Jack Swagger
WWE Hall of Fame Stuff
They recap the Hall of Fame ceremony last night.
Howard Finkel is in the ring and welcomes the WWE hall of fame class of 2010.
They come out and stand at the entranceway.
The Hart Family is there representing Stu Hart.
Mad Dog Vachon in a wheelchair.
Feeling really sad right now.
Betty Wagner, former wife of Gorgeous George, holding onto a walker.
The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase gets the biggest pop.
Triple H vs. Sheamus
Sheamus comes out first, then Triple H.
Sheamus yells something about being “the future” to Triple H.
Triple H slaps Sheamus.
Right hands by Triple H. Quickly goes for the Pedigree but Sheamus escapes.
Fucking so pale.
Triple H knocks down Sheamus and “delivers” a knee.
Battle goes to the outside and Triple H throws him into the barrier, then rolls him back into the ring.
Triple H locks on the figure four leg lock and the crowd “whooo’s.”
Sheamus grabs the rope and crawls to the outside.
Triple H follows Sheamus to the outside but Sheamus ducks and throws Triple H into the steel steps.
Back in the ring, Sheamus hits a nice backbreaker on Triple H.
And another one.
Sheamus controlling the match.
Puts on a sleeper hold but Triple H finally fights back and hits a belly to back suplex.
Sheamus runs at Triple H but HHH hits a DDT.
They “exchange rights.”
Triple H with a high knee. Seems “pumped.”
Facebuster to Sheamus.
Triple H goes for the Pedigree but Sheamus counters… Triple H hits a neckbreaker.
Triple H fights Sheamus on the rope but Sheamus goes for “The Razor’s Edge.”
Triple H counters… Sheamus hits a huge boot and goes for the pin. Near fall.
Sheamus “can’t believe it.”
Goes for the fall away slam again but Triple H counters and hits a spine buster. Kick out at 2.
Both seem “winded.”
“An old west shoot out here in the desert.” – Michal Cole
Sheamus kicks Triple H in the face and both men fall to the mat.
Sheamus picks up HHH slowly but Triple H out of nowhere kicks him in the stomach and hits the Pedigree… 1-2-3.
Winner: Triple H
Some zany Slim Jim commercial with Edge.
CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio is next. They show a recap of the feud featuring slow motion effects.
CM Punk vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
CM Punk comes out, “talking shit” about Rey Mysterio.
“I will beat him. He will join my straight edge society and in doing so, 70k people just like you will choose me as their savior and the straight edge society will live on one nation under Punk, indivisible, with integrity and sobriety for all.”
Rey Mysterio comes out.
Long ass entrances.
They go at it… CM Punk tries to drop kick Mysterio in the corner but Mysterio moves and CM Punk goes crotch first into the post.
Mysterio with a cross body attempt but CM Punk catches him and slams him down.
Punk goes for 4 pinfalls in a row but Mysterio kicks out of each one.
Mysterio goes for the 619 but “Serena” breaks it up.
Punk goes for his finisher but Mysterio counters. Goes to the top rope.
FROG SPLASH but Punk moves. Goes for the pin, kick out.
Punk goes for the GTS but Rey counters with a hurricanrana.
Mysterio hits a 619 then a springboard splash for the pin.
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon
Recap of the McMahon-Bret Hart feud.
Some guy has a “BRETT BEAT VINCE” sign.
Bret Hart’s music hits.
They zoom in on the “BRETT BEAT VINCE” sign.
Bret Hart dressed in jean shorts and a leather jacket.
McMahon’s music hits and he comes out with a microphone.
He poses, shows his muscles.
“Look at ya. Look at ya in there, Bret. You’re in my ring. In my greatest creation, WrestleMania! And you know, Bret. What you deserve, you deserve a WrestleMania sized screw in.”
“Therefore, I shelled out a whole lot of bucks and it’s going to be worth it because you get what you pay for, so I went out and bought myself a whole bunch of lumberjacks. One of them is going to be a guest referee. Just remember this, Bret… Bret… screwed… Bret… and Vince… screwed… Bret. And now, Vince, and your entire family, screwed Bret. Come on out!”
The Hart family comes out. Cole is like, “you gotta be kiddin’ me!!!”
“Give me an entrance music. Give me something I deserve. This is my creation!”
His theme hits and they walk down the aisle.
Can’t believe there are still 2 hours left.
Michael Cole says, “this is pathetic.” He is disgusted.
Bruce Hart is going to be the special guest referee.
Bret Hart grabs the mic.
“There’s not much I can do about it. What’s done is done. There’s one thing I know about the Hart Family. You got paid up front didn’t you? Got your money, cashed your check, put it in the bank. There’s one thing I learned from the Montreal Screw Job, and that there’s nothing sweeter than a good double cross. The thing is, the Hart family, we’re stronger than ever. They told me what you were gonna do and told me ahead of time. And tonight, this, your greatest creation of all, WrestleMania… it’s gonna be forever remembered as the night… that Bret screwed Vince!”
Bruce Hart embraces Bret.
The bell rings.
Hart family surrounding the ring, on Bret’s side presumably.
Bret punches at Vince and starts to stomp him in the corner, eventually rolling him out of the ring and into the hands of the Hart family, who “beats up on him.”
Jim Neidhart’s daughter slaps Vince. They all stomp on him. McMahon getting his “ass beat.”
Tyson Kidd goes to the top rope and hits a clothesline to the outside as McMahon is held up.
McMahon finally rolled back into the ring as Bret stomps on him. He works on Vince’s leg. McMahon screams in pain as Bret drops elbows and whatnot. McMahon rolls out again and tries to hide under the ring, but the Hart family drags him back out. McMahon grabs some sort of crowbar or something from the bottom and the Hart family scatters as he threatens to hit them with it. They shout “coward” at him.
McMahon runs back into the ring but Bret knocks him down and drops a couple of more elbows. He grabs the crowbar and hits Vince in the midsection repeatedly. Crowd seems to be like “whatever bro.”
Bret waits for Vince to stand up on his own, and nails him with the crowbar again.
Bret grabs Vince in a headlock and jabs him in the throat with the crowbar.
Hart family annoyingly slamming their hands on the apron.
Bret goes for the Sharpshooter and the crowd “goes wild.” On their feet.
He begins to lock it on but then stops and grabs the crowbar again.
Seemed to be expecting a “pop” from the crowd but they all just sat back down.
Bret hits Vince again, and again, goes for the Sharpshooter.
He is about to lock on the Sharpshooter, but instead, stomps at Vince’s crotch.
He stomps on him again.
Vince is “begging for mercy” but Bret continues to stomp on him.
Bret is tossed a chair and bret sets it up and takes a seat as Vince crawls around slowly in the ring.
Bret watches Vince and relaxes as he crawls.
Vince finally stands and Bret nails him pretty hard in the back with the chair.
Again, slams him hard in the back. And a third one, not holding back at all. And again and again and again.
Repeatedly nailing McMahon with the chair really hard.
Bret continues to hit McMahon with the chair over and over. Like 40 times, and finally tosses it aside.
He grabs McMahon’s legs and the crowd goes crazy as he starts to lock on the Sharpshooter… and he does. McMahon immediately taps out and the bell rings…
Winner: Bret Hart
Bret and the Hart family celebrate in the ring after the match.
Chris Jericho vs. Edge
Jericho enters… Edge’s theme hits before Jericho gets to the ring.
Some bro has a “USA! USA! USA!” sign.
Bell rings, they lock up, match is under way.
Headlock by Jericho. Jericho knocks down Edge with a shoulder block and plays to the crowd.
Edge slams down Jericho and gets ready for a spear, but Jericho rolls out of the ring. Edge follows him and throws him back in, but is kicked in the face by Jericho as he climbs back in. Jericho raises his fist in victory.
Back in the ring, Jericho hits a back drop, then locks on a sleeper hold.
Edge tries to climb up but Jericho pulls him down hard by his hair.
Crowd is dead.
Jericho is suddenly knocked outside by Edge and Edge follows it up with a clothesline off the apron to the outside.
Rolls Jericho back in and climbs the top rope but Jericho follows him up. Edge fights him off and hits a facebuster off the top rope. Kick out at 2.
Jericho suddenly tries to lock on the Walls of Jericho but Edge quickly fights him off.
Edge off the top rope with a cross body block but Jericho rolls him up. Kick out at 2.
Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho again but Edge breaks out of it. Top rope, sunset flip by Edge, near fall. Jericho reverses, near fall. Jericho gets up and kicks Edge in the effing face.
He waits for Edge to stand up. Goes for the code breaker, but Edge shoves him off into the corner and Jericho falls down, hurt. Edge waits in the opposite corner for the spear, but Jericho jumps up, out of the way and counters into the Walls of Jericho!
Ref asking Edge if he wants to tap out. Edge tries to fight out of it and rolls out, locks Jericho into a small package, but Jericho kicks out.
Jericho quickly elbows Edge, goes for the Lionsault but misses. Edge goes for the pin, kick out.
Jericho kicks Jericho in the head and knocks him down. Kick out.
Off the ropes, Edge kicks Jericho and hits a DDT but Jericho kicks out.
They are both “gassed.”
Jericho climbs to the middle rope and jumps down with a forearm to the back of Edge’s head.
He looks to the crowd with a “crazy” look in his eyes and a smile. He stand in the corner as Edge is in the other corner, and gets ready for the spear… He runs at Edge for the spear but Edge stand up and kicks him in the face with a big boot.
Jericho down in the corner, Edge in the opposite corner again, waiting for Jericho to get up. He goes for the spear… CODE BREAKER by Jericho.
Both men down.
Jericho crawls over and hooks the leg… 1-2-no.
Another cover and a kick out. Jericho yells at the referee.
Jericho kicks Edge in his injured achilles tendon, then stomps on it.
Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho again and locks it in. Edge trying to fight out of it, crawling to the ropes… almost there but Jericho drags him back to the center of the ring and locks on a single leg crab on Edge’s injured leg. Edge trying not to tap out. Crawls to the rope again and grabs on, breaking the hold.
Jericho tries to grab Edge by his leg but Edge rolls him up… Jericho kicks out. Edge clotheslines Jericho and they both fall to the outside.
Jericho grabs the heavyweight title from the outside but Edge punches him. They battle on the apron and Edge accidentally knocks out the referee.
Jericho grabs the belt and nails Edge in the face.
Referee gets back up and counts… 1-2-kick out.
Jericho “can’t believe it.”
Shouts at Edge to get up.
Hits the code breaker on Edge.
Winner: Chris Jericho
After the match, Jericho celebrates in the ring. He grabs Edge’s leg and tries to slam it into the post but Edge kicks him away and fights back. He pulls off the top of the spanish announce tables and monitors. He puts Jericho on top of one table and stand on the other. He waits for Jericho to get up and then spears him off the announce table through the barricade.
Edge rolls back into the ring and the crowd is half booing and half cheering.
His music hits and he celebrates in the middle of the ring as “medics” tend to Jericho.
26 Man Battle Royal Before the PPV
Michael Cole mentions that there was a 26 man over the top rope battle royal before the PPV started.
Shows a bunch of them eliminating the Great Khali.
Yoshi Tatsu knocks out Zach Ryder with a kick to the head in the end and wins the battle royal.
Diva Tag Team Match
Kelly Kelly, pretty hot.
Vicky Guerrero starts off with Gail Kim.
She taunts her but Beth Phoenix is tagged in and Vicky screams. Matt Striker keeps pronouncing the spanish last names with a spanish accent.
Kelly Kelly comes in and Vicky screams at her, shouting “do you know who I am?” Kelly Kelly kicks her in the stomach.
Michelle McCool comes in and hits a face breaker on Kelly.
So much fucking screaming/shrieking.
Dunno wtf is going on right now.
Gail Kim in, does some shit.
Some blonde chick.
“The French Kiss” on the Asian chick.
Some chick who is black I think comes in.
Beth Phoenix does some move to her.
Beth Phoenix looks towards Vicky as she screams in the corner.
Michelle McCool saves her.
Vicky and Michelle are in the ring along with Kelly Kelly. Vicky is helped to the top rope and hits some shitty frog splash but Kelly Kelly kicks out I think. I dunno.
Or she got up on her own and splashed down on her again awkwardly.
And she pins her this time.
And they win.
Winners: Vicky Guerrero’s team
Vicky “shakes her titties” in the ring as the rest celebrate.
John Cena vs. Batista
For the WWE Championship.
Batista comes out first.
Should have taken a piss during the feud recap. Forgot.
Actually going to now.
Back, didn’t wash hands.
Batista’s entrance still going on.
Dog came in, sitting next to me.
Wants to get out now, let him out.
Army bros doing something now for some reason.
What is this
Doing some march.
Crowd is silent.
Doing some fancy spinning bullshit with their rifles.
And John Cena’s music hits, what the fuck is this.
Cena runs out into the ring, totally “fired up.”
Crowd half cheers half boos Cena as he is introduced.
Same reaction for Batista. Lil more boos possibly.
Cool lights, making this seem like a “huge match.”
Pretty good atmosphere.
They lock up. Some dumb bitch screaming in the crowd with a John Cena shirt, crowd booing her I think.
Batista throws Cena into the corner and hits him in the back of the head with a forearm, then stomps at him in the corner.
Some guy with sunglasses in the crowd raises what seems to be a bottle of beer.
Batista tries a suplex but Cena suplexes into a suplex of his own.
Don’t feel like watching this at all.
Cena struggles to pick Cena up and goes for the attitude adjustment, but Batista counters and DDTs Cena awkwardly. Kicks him in the head.
Cena fights out of the sleeper hold, with Batista on his back.
They exchange blows…
Crowd boos as Cena hits Batista and cheers when Batista hits Cena.
Another rest hold by Batista but Cena counters again. Shoulder block by Cena. Back body drop.
Cena taunts Batista with his “U Can’t See Me” stuff, runs off the rope but Batista gets up and “nails” him. Crowd pops.
Cena locks on the STF out of nowhere as Batista taunts.
Batista crawls to the ropes and grabs on.
Spear by Batista. Kick out.
Batista rams his shoulder into Cena’s “mid section” in the corner, then goes for the superplex but Cena tries to fight it off. They lock hands in a “test of strength.” Cena headbutts Batista three times and Batista finally falls down.
Cena taunts on the top rope and jumps down with the “five knuckle shuffle” from the top rope. Goes for the attitude adjustment but Batista counters into a BATISTA BOMB.
1-2-no. Batista can’t freaking believe it!!!!!!!!!!!
Batista stares down Cena and goes for another Batista Bomb but Cena counters into an attitude adjustment but Batista counters… then Cena counters again and HITS the attitude adjustment but Batista kicks out.
Crowd is really into the match.
Pretty good series there.
Cena goes to the top rope and jumps down but Batista grabs him and slams him down to the mat. Goes for another Batista Bomb but Cena counters into the STF…
Batista trying to crawl to the ropes… but can’t do it and he TAPS OUT.
Winner and new WWE Champion: John Cena
Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker
Streak vs. Career match.
Shawn Michaels comes out first along with some pyro.
Feeling hungry so just had some Omega 3 fish oil in some sort of orange flavored squeeze form, tasted somewhat disgusting.
Undertaker’s music hits, comes out from some opening in the floor on a mini elevator thing.
Walking really slow.
Undertaker walking to the ring as Shawn Michaels stares him down in the ring.
Entrance finally over after around 4.5 mins.
Undertaker seems real tan/red.
They stare each other down in the ring.
Shawn Michaels makes some cut throat gesture which “pisses off” Undertaker. He rushes at HBK but HBK moves and they exchange chops. Crowd does the “whooo” thing.
Taker throws Michaels into the corner and he does his flip thing.
Undertaker does the walk on the rope jump down thing.
Seems to have “hurt” his knee.
Goes for a chokeslam but Michaels fights back and goes after Taker’s knee.
Taker suddenly grabs HBK and goes for the Tombstone but Michaels counters.
Chokeslam attempt, Michaels breaks it.
Michaels goes for the Sweet Chin Music but Undertaker blocks it with his arms I guess.
Michaels attacks Taker’s knee and stomps on it in the corner.
Undertaker fights back again and clotheslines Michaels to the outside. Acts like he is going to jump over onto the outside but Michaels runs in before he can and shoulder blocks his knee, then continues to work on it but Taker knocks him outside. Drives HBK into the steel post on the outside.
Taker leg drops HBK on the apron.
He takes like 45 seconds outside, and by the time he gets back in, Michaels knocks him down and locks on a figure four leg lock.
Slim Jim logo on the titantron, genuinely want one right now.
Crowd is dead.
Taker breaks the figure four.
They “exchange blows.”
Michaels is knocked down but does his jumping up thing but is immediately grabbed and chokeslammed by the Undertaker, but he kicks out. Goes for the Tombstone but Michaels counters and locks on an ankle lock.
Undertaker is in “searing” pain. Finally breaks free but Michaels clotheslines him to the outside.
Michaels tries to do some acrobatic move from the middle rope to the outside but is caught by Taker and he Tombstones him.
Random shot of the entranceway for 3 seconds for some reason.
Undertaker rolls HBK into the ring after like 2 mins and goes for the pin but he kicks out.
Undertaker goes for “the last ride” and he hits it. Actually no he “countered” it apparently. Michaels went for the pin but Taker kicked out.
Michaels to the top rope… elbow drop but falls right into Taker’s knees.
Both are down and hurt.
Taker suddenly locks on the “Hell’s Gate” but Michaels gets out of it and rolls Taker up but he kicks out.
SWEET CHIN MUSIC out of nowhere… near fall.
Crowd into the match now.
Some guy with ICP makeup in the crowd. Might be Joker makeup actually, can’t tell.
Goes for the sweet chin music again but Taker blocks it and kicks Michaels in the stomach… LAST RIDE.
1… 2… no.
Taker picks up Michaels and throws him outside.
Takes off the top of the regular announce table and the monitors.
Spanish announce table is “chillin.”
Undertaker goes for the last ride onto the table but Michaels hits the sweet chin music and Undertaker falls into the table.
Michaels starts to climb the top rope…
MOONSAULT off the top onto the announce table. Pretty good.
Michaels rolls Taker into the ring. Lawler keeps talking about how Undertaker’s leg is “broken” as he stands up and puts a ton of weight on his leg.
Sweet chin music.
“How on earth could the Undertaker… kick out… of sweet chin music?” – Michael Cole
Michaels waiting again for sweet chin music as Undertaker gets up… but Taker grabs him by the throat and CHOKESLAM.
Undertaker goes for the Tombstone…
Puts Michaels’s arms to his chest to “put him to rest.”
1… 2… nope.
Undertaker “can’t believe it.”
Undertaker pulls down his straps. Looks “mad gay.”
Makes a cut throat gesture as Michaels crawls around, trying to get up. Undertaker looks “disheartened.” Shouts at Michaels to stay down as Michaels gets up, weakly grabbing at Undertaker’s body…
Shawn Michaels makes a cut throat gesture and Taker looks “furious.”
Michaels SLAPS Undertaker.
Undertaker is “livid.”
Nails Michaels… hits the TOMBSTONE.
Shawn Michaels’s career is over.
Winner: The Undertaker
Undertaker’s music plays as he stands over Michaels’s body.
“18-0” is displayed on the Titrantron and there is a shit load of pyro everywhere, including on the outside of the stadium.
The Undertaker grabs Shawn Michaels and helps him up and extends his hand… they shake hands in an “emotional moment.” Crowd cheers.
Undertaker rolls out of the ring and Shawn Michaels stands alone in the ring as the crowd is on their feet and chants “HBK.”
Michaels waves to the crowd and blows kisses, looks like he is going to cry or is crying.
Gets on his knees and looks to “the heavens.”
Mouths thank you, rolls out of the ring, embracing and greeting the crowd as he walks down the aisle.
Says “gonna drive my kids nuts in three weeks.”
Crowd keeps cheering.
Some chant “HBK”
Embraces some guy in front of another guy who has a sign that says “This match sponsored by AARP.” Seems to “not see” the sign.
Waves to the crowd. Lawler says, “Shawn… it’s over… goodbye. We’ll miss you.”
Michaels walks backstage as the show fades to black.
Thanks for joining me tonight you guys! Hope you enjoyed it and maybe learned a thing or two along the way. It’s been a great ride. Goodnight.