WWF Raw is War Results – February 5, 2001

February 5, 2001
Atlanta, Georgia
Hosted by Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler
Report by Fred Venturini – TPWW.net

RAW is ready for launch, live from Atlanta, Georiga! Raw opens up with Smackdown highlights, where HHH gets into the triple threat match. It shows the end, as Stone Cold comes out and costs HHH the title by counting Hebner’s hand. Then we’re treated to complimentary pyro as we’re off and running, LIVE! JR tells us to expect Stone Cold and HHH to show up, and gives us a preview of the night to come, but I won’t spoil the suprises!

IC Title Match: Matt Hardy vs. Chris Jericho
Hardy comes out with the lovely, and I’ll repeat, lovely Lita. We get treated to seeing Jeff Hardy get blown up at Smackdown, explaining his absence. Y2J makes his curtain call, and the crowd reaction seems pretty divided so far, with a slight edge to the champion. Then, some strange music hits, and by God it’s Dean Malenko!? Uh, oh, I’m scared. Anyways, the match starts with Y2J getting tied up and eventually an early advantage with a hammerlock. Hardy goes out to break it, and Jericho pulls him out. Flair chops galore, and a suplex on the concrete by Y2J. Y2J goes up top and lands a solid elbow in the ring. Near fall, and then Hardy gets fired into the corner where he gets knocked around again with a series of rights. Backbreaker by Jericho, who’s dominating early. He sets up Hardy for a superplex, but Hardy fights back, tossing Y2J down and then landing a bigtime clothesline. Malenko looks on, and he must be one horny devil by the looks of it. Hardy with the advantage, landing another clothesline and then disrobing to the delight of the femine members of the audience. Hardy up top, landing a patented legdrop. He gets only two though, and then Malenko starts down but thinks twice. Hardy gets racked on the ropes, and Jericho kicks away while he’s hung up, tree of woe style. Now Lita up top with a hurricanrana! Hardy gets one . . . two . . . but that’s it as Hardy regroups and goes for the Twist of Fate, getting thrown out of the ring with a great reversal by Y2J. Malenko then pounces, wacking and then tossing Hardy in the ring and allowing Jericho to land a bulldog Lionsault combo for the three and the title retention!
WINNER VIA PINFALL: Chris Jericho

Postmatch: Saturn and Malenko team up on Hardy, but Y2J makes the save. Jericho gets in the ring, only to get slammed from behind by Latino Heat! The Radical ambush is on, as Jericho and Hardy get lain out in the ring from a variety of suplexes and cheapshots. Now, Eddy goes up top, and frogsplashes the IC title belt right onto Jericho’s face! Latino Heat’s music hits, and the Radicals reign to open Raw. And Terry looks as hot as Lita tonight, wow! Great match to open up Raw, solid action and a nice surprise ambush.

SEGMENT: Backstage, none other than the Rock enters! Kevin Kelly tries to get a word, but the Rock looks royally pissed, dropping his jacket and bag, looking as if he’s making as straight line to the ring. After we return from commercial, the Rock does indeed come out, looking like he’s in “Rock Intense” mode.

After grabbing the stick, yes, the Rock has returned to Atlanta! He’s pacing like an animal in a cage, posing some questions: why are we here? Are we alone in the universe? How can HHH be such a horses ass? Uh oh, the Rock cites HHH and Austin as interfering in his business. Rock wants Austin to know that not only was HHH screwed, but the Rock was too. But ultimately, he understands and it brings him back to the candyass of HHH. Does HHH want to play games? On his time? Stephs time? Vinces time? His midget screwing grandma’s time? But this was the Rock’s time he was playing on, so Rock says he’s nutless, so go ahead and bring that trick of a wife with him so Rock can whip both their candyasses all over Atlanta. HHH’s music hits, but it’s only that slut of a wife, Steph McMahon Helmsley all by her lonesome.

She gets interrupted by the Rock. No need for the drama, Steph. The Rock says that she has more balls thrown her way than Chipper Jones at batting practice. This incites HHH, who comes out. He tells the Great One why he was involved in the match on Smackdown. HHH says he is the man who’s been kicking Rock’s ass since he came to the WWF. He’s the best there is, no equal, and more importantly, he’s earned his shot at the title. HHH is slowly walking towards the ring, saying Stone Cold screwed him, not the Rock. Trips says that no catchphrases or cookie-cutter insults can effect him. He accepts the Rock’s challenge, citing him to be careful what he wishes for. Just as HHH is about to get it on, it’s Olympic hero time! Kurt Angle’s music hits!

A smiling Angle says this is ridiculous. Angle says, very slowly, so everyone can understand. “Neither of you can beat me!” He makes a nice pelvic gesture with beat, ha! He says the Atlanta crowd is intellectually challenged, and at WM, Stone Cold will face him for the title. And, whoomp, there it is, simple as that! Honestly, Kurt says, he’s getting bored by the both of them he beats them so much. So if they want to fight to see who gets beat by Kurt again, go ahead.

No chance in hell blares through the speakers, and Mr. McMahon comes out. We’ve got folks at the entrance, on the ramp, and in the ring! And in the interest of fairness of course, Mr. McMahon puts up with the asshole chant, threatening that they won’t get an XFL franchise. Rock begs to be spared the fairness crap. He wants the match, or he wants him to take a brand new XFL football and put it up his candyass! Kurt sucks up some, saying McMahon is always fair, but McMahon makes a match for HHH and the Rock in this very ring! Where else would they have it? But there’s a catch, HHH has to team up with Stone Cold Steve Austin! He reminds us of the contract stipulations, and tells the Rock his partner is none other than Kurt Angle! Kurt looks pissed, but to no avail as McMahon exits. All men talk trash as Raw goes to commercial.

As Raw returns, JR says there will be no DQ in the main event tag.

Match: Edge and Christian vs. Kaientai
E & C come out and get in the ring, and I’ll be damned if they aren’t pulling the Kaientai bit! They’re speaking English in the mic, but Japanese is coming out over the speakers! The Japanese heroes come out, and they look insulted. FOOLS, YOUR JAPANESE IS AN ABOMINATION! YOU SAID YOU WILL SO TOTALLY ENGAGE IN SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH A CAMEL! BECAUSE WE WREAK OF ONE THING, AND ONE THING ONLY—EVIL! INDEED! This is accompanied by hysterical “whoosh” noises to accompany chopping gestures, a la the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Hilarious opening. Now the match up is now underway as Edge works over Funaki with a couple of slaps and rights. Now he applies a neckbreaker and slaps him around a few more times. Christian is tagged, and he lands a couple blows to the ribs. Now he applies a choke, and Taka breaks it up. Edge back in now, and he sets up Funaki in a tree of woe, stepping on his crotch! That’s new to say the least. His eggroll must be aching. Christian with a snap takeover and a quick two. Funaki getting dominated, and Edge is back in for a double team side suplex. Now a bodyslam position, but Taka dropkicks his partners back making for a quick two on Edge, who gets right back to his feet, going for a suplex, but getting it reversed again, yet he remains on the offensive until he gets a high speed headscissor takedown. Funaki crawls towards his corner, and tags in Taka, who’s flaming now. He’s EEEVIL! A series of kicks and dropkicks, and now Funaki is up, holding Christian in a camel clutch for a face dropcick. The Taka driver! One . . . two . . . but it gets broken up by Christian. Taka gets hung up top after a failed double team move, and he takes a massive double team suplex from the Canadian blondes for the one, two, three! Did they get their asses whipped? Indeed!
WINNERS VIA PINFALL: Edge and Christian

SEGMENT: Steph is bitching about Trish, who apparently told Steph she found her mother’s earring! Steph is sick of the baths, the massages, and it’s time to chat with Daddy about it! Raw then goes to commercial with William Regal shown peeking from the window.

Now Vince is shown on the phone, chastising the critics of the XFL, saying it’s all about the fan. Steph comes in, asking what’s up with Trish? Vince says nothing, that he’s just her friend. (I did not have sexual relations with that woman . . . what’s with men in power and lying about getting laid?) Steph shows him the earring! It was Trish’s! From the bedroom of the hotel suite of all places! Uh oh Vince, but Regal comes in, bailing him out, saying that Vince was gracious enough to let him use the room. Regal says he was looking for the earring, and he’ll see to it that he gets it to the rightful owner. Vince ends it by saying, “like I said before, Just friends.”

Now it’s Austin time, and Kevin Kelly asks him about the match. Austin asks who made the match, and Kevin says Vince. “We’ll see about that,” Austin says, leaving looking pissed as ever.

Now it’s the Kat at the door of the offices of the APA, asking the Acolytes for protection during her speech, which I’ll look forward to. She doesn’t have cash, not beer, but how about a little of . . . this, which turns out to be a topless shot, to which Farooq says “we’ll take those!” I would too by beerdrinking friend. I would too. Raw goes to commercial.

We get treated to Raw highlights of Raven’s mystery driver helping Raven to victory. We then get a shot of Molly Holly, who gets an interview? Micheal Cole asks her what’s up? Molly says that no one who dresses like a ninja attacks a Holly, so she’ll be there all night long, waiting. She says to feel her arm, because it’s all muscle. Maybe something else babe, just see the King.

Tag Team Title Match: Kane and Undertaker vs. The Dudley Boyz
It’s time to get Rollin with Limp and the Lord of Darkness and his brother. He comes out to some damn serious noise, and then we hear the screech of missles that denotes the arrival of those damn Dudleyz. D-Von starts things off against Kane, and this should be physical. Kane starts off that way with rights and a side suplex that bounces D-Von off of the mat. Kane lashes him into the turnbuckle, and lands another massive suplex, but misses the elbow. A short dropkick from D-Von, who gets only two out of it. Buh Buh in now, who gets backdropped for his arrival. Now Kane up top, and he wipes out Buh Buh with a right and gets a two count. Now Undertaker comes in, slapping the Dudley dome off of the turnbuckle and landing hard rights and clotheslines, but then he gets a mouthful of foot, only to drop Buh Buh again. It’s old school time! After the tightrope treatment, Buh Buh needs a blow, but he only gets cracked onece more. UT misses and elbow, and then gets a Russian leg sweep. Buh Buh back to life, setting the UT up for a big dose of crotch splitting Wassup! And then Kane gets killed, knocked out of the ring. It’s 3-D time! UT lands a DDT while Kane pulls out Buh Buh. One . . . two . . . Buh Buh breaks it up at the last nanosecond. Now Kane back to work on D-Von, who is stumbling. Kane suplexes him and drops a heavy looking legdrop. Cover but nothing doing, as Buh Buh breaks it up. Now D-Von fights back and gets the big Kane boot in the teeth. Now UT in, and he sets up D-Von with some elbows and then lands the hugest clothesline of the match. Another long two, broken up by Buh Buh again. Now D-Von with a neckbreaker, buying some time. Buh Buh gets the tag, and he trades blows with the UT until he lands a suplex on him, getting a two until the Undertaker kicks out. Now all four men in the ring, and then quickly out. It’s a brawl now, with UT and Kane dominating. UT and Buh Buh back in, Kane gets slapped against the post. Now Undertaker with a chokeslam! Edge and Christian come out to break things up, but they miss the conchairto. UT then cracks the blondes with their own chair! He covers Buh Buh, but the ref doesn’t count. He calls for the bell! He says that Undertaker laid out Buh Buh with a chair! Raw to commercial as we get another dose of “Rollin.”
WINNERS VIA DQ: The Dudley Boyz

SEGMENT: As Raw returns, Trish is disrobing Vince. She denies the accusations, but Stone Cold comes in, looking pissed, but Stone Cold loves the match! SC says that it’s pretty obvious he’s not screwing him (looking at Trish) but it is pretty obvious he’s trying to screw someone else!

Now the Kat comes out with the APA. The Kat is ripping on the RTC, and she’s got a suspect overcoat on. The APA look as excited as me. It’s time to start the RTN, the right to nudity. Huge pop. Again, Farooq looks like he loves it. Lawler is giving a standing ovation. Now the RTC comes out to a chorus of boos. The APA go at them on the ramp, but they’re outnumbered. Stevie comes to the ring, and he’s saying she’s a slut? A whore? What the? I thought he was against that kind of language, but at least they bleeped it out! Now she kisses him! Distracted, Bradshaw lays him out with a clothesline straight from the fiery depths of hell, but Ivory is out, distracting a stripping Kat, and now she’s running from the Kat! APA music hits while the RTC tends to their fallen leader.

Then Raven is shown talking to Molly, and he’s coming onto her! Don’t worry champ, I would too. Molly wants the ninja lady, who she calls “Raven’s girlfriend,” but Raven says he doesn’t have one. Raw to commercial.

SEGMENT: Vince is teaching Trish how to be a football center. HOT! He gets interrupted by Al Snow, and Vince urges Trish to not leave things hanging around. Al is lobbying for Foley! Vince says he doesn’t care about Foley, and makes a match for Al. We don’t know what it is though.

Now Molly is jumping the mystery woman, kicking her ass bigtime. She’s taking off the mask, but Raven breaks it up. Now the masked woman is taking Raven and making off with him. This wasn’t an escape, it was a kidnapping. Molly is out cold on the concrete from a karate chop and Raw goes right back to commercial.

Back from the break, Too Cool are in an emotional match against Rikishi and Haku. The new Rikishi doesn’t dance, and his homie has a footlong ‘fro. Haku comes in spewing some strange language I’ve never heard, and Rikishi says “Riiiight.” JR says it was the native Tongan tongue.

Match: Haku and Rikishi vs. Too Cool 
Rikishi and Haku are in the ring, and it’s time to “turn it up!” as Too Cool come out dancing and ready to go. Rikishi starts off with Sexay, who comes out strong, almost getting crushed by Rikishi and making a tag. Too Cool in control, but Rikishi gets in a right and makes a tag. Haku comes in mumbling and kicking ass. Now he’s posing, and Scotty is in now, getting headbutted. Rikishi back in now, and Scotty is down. He’s getting whipped around and now Rikishi misses an ass shot in the corner. Sexay gets tagged in, and he kicks the hell out of the Islanders. Now Haku is getting racked by the ropes, and Sexay is up top, ready to fly! Haku pulls him down and he takes a nut shot. Scotty from nowhere, and it’s time for the worm! W-O-R-M, and he hits it. Haku and Scotty outside, and Sexay hits his hiphop drop. Haku breaks it up, and Rikishi takes Sexay from behind, setting him up for the Banzai drop and he makes the one two three. Not a very good match, but it could’ve been worse. Everyone and their brother knew who was going to win that one.
WINNER VIA PINFALL: Rikisihi and Haku

SEGMENT: Angle finds Essa Rios backstage. He asks him if he still works for the company, but Rios is unable to say anything in English. Angle is apparently looking for the Rock. Raw to commercial.

As we come back, Rock is confronted by Kurt. He says they need to be smart because HHH and Stone Cold are going to have problems. Rock shakes his hand because Kurt says that he’ll get him in a number one contender match. Rock says that he’s going to make Angle happy, because regardless of what happens, he’s taking the belt a lot sooner than Angle thinks. And there’s not a damn thing Angle can do about it. Rock says his days of being champ are over. Angle looks scared as Rock exits.

Match: Al Snow vs. Chris Benoit
Thanks for the favor Mr. McMahon, because Benoit is going to take apart Mr. Head. The wolverine with kicks and and rights , and Al Snow is powerless to come back. Now Benoit tosses him into the post, and Snow made it look painful. Benoit twists Snow’s arm violently and tosses him out of the ring. Outside, Snow comes back, but gets drilled into the steps. Snow is getting punished. Now back into the ring, where Benoit is working over Snow with more kicks and a series of shots to the back of the arm. I wonder what he’s setting up. Now Snow goes for a strange looking pumphandle suplex, and he hits it. Benoit now on the defensive, getting tossed off of the ropes into a closed fist. Snow is selling his arm injury bigtime. Snow with a slam, and he plays to the crowd, going up top and hitting a moonsault. Then he goes up for a second, and he hits it for the one, two, but Benoit refuses to stay prone, reversing a Snow clothesline into a Crippler Crossface and a Benoit win. Impressive selling by Snow, but not the best match in the Crippler’s resume. Benoit didn’t show off his skills in this squash.
WINNER VIA DQ: Chris Benoit 

SEGMENT: Vince and Steph are talking over Austin. Steph says he’s too calm and he’s planning something. HHH and Steph say the match at No Way Out needs a stipulation. Vince is pissed about the Trish thing, so he tells them both to go calm down. Raw to commercial.

As we return, Chyna gets a few words in at WWF NY. She plugs the book, the video, and the talk shows she’s been on. She sells the injury, saying she misses the guys. JR thanks the fans for supporting the XFL. Lawler shoots on a USA today critic, saying that his wife’s best friend runs on batteries. They say something about Dennis Miller, who I personally saw saying “This is the NFL, forget about that crap last night!” Gee Dennis, I thought you’d like this league. They show XFL highlights from an exciting week of football, and be sure to check out the new XFL column coming up by yours truly. It’s going to be great, so be sure to give it a look when it arrives.

Coming back, Steph and HHH are bitching about the stipulation, and Austin comes in and gets a handshake from HHH, complimenting Steph’s hair? What the hell? He’s acting buddy buddy with the mastermind of his near assassination. Austin has something cooking, and they show Kurt coming out with Trish, who is looking hotter than that first puff of steam from a fresh bag of microwave popcorn. Commerical.

Main Event: Austin and Triple H vs. Kurt Angle and The Rock
The Rock comes out to a good pop. The crowd reaction hasn’t been there all night, maybe the girth of the joint is making it not come off well on TV. After some posing, his partner, Kurt Angle, comes out, and like I said, Trish is looking pretty good tonight. Rock and Angle are staring each other down, and then the Game comes out to his new music, with his wife. We may get some catfighting as a bonus! And then the man of the hour, Stone Cold, comes out to the sound of shattering glass, and the question of the hour is what is Stone Cold up to, or is he a reformed bad ass that wants to boil tea and have cookies with HHH? We’ll see, but I’m betting that there’s a plan in place because tea is non-alcoholic. So four of the biggest names in the WWF are in the same ring, and we’re primed up for an explosion, and we get one as SC opens up on Angle, stomping him to all hell in the corner. Now an elbow to the face off of the ropes. And a Lou Thez press right off the bat! Big rights, and Austin smiles at Rock. Angle is set up on top of the turnbuckle for a superplex, and Austin hits it! Impressive start for Austin, and he tags HHH with a viscious slap. HHH talks some trash, but the Rock was tagged and he lays the smack down on HHH, who comes back with an eye gouge. Now Rock getting hammered by the cerebral assassin, but Rock comes back with a huge right, and then a clothesline. Now a big DDT from the People’s Champ! Kurt tags the Rock’s back as he was about to nail the Rock bottom! Rock nails Kurt, and HHH goes to work on him. HHH tags the hell out of Austin, and told him to “get his ass.” Austin takes it out on Angle, who’s the whipping boy so far, taking a huge spinebuster. Now Austin bails Angle out of the ring with a backdrop and he follows. Now the Rock attacks HHH, and he gets the spinebuster! Angle hits Rock from behind, and all hell is loose in the ring! Welllll, well by God it’s the Big Show! He comes out and just wipes out the Rock on the outside with a move that resembles a scorpion death drop with an elbow in the Rock’s throat. Now Austin and HHH are one-upping each other by seeing who can slam Kurt’s head into the announce table harder. Kurt is in the ring with Trips, since Austin was ordered out by Hebner. After HHH gets thrown out due to Austin pulling down the ropes, Austin checks on him? Good God something is going to happen. Kurt now takes a neckbreaker from HHH. Austin is rooting on HHH, begging him for the tag. Angle gets a chair, but Angle kicks him in the gut and hits the pedigree! But Austin distracts the ref so he can’t make the count. Now HHH is staring him down, but Austin flips him off! Angle with a lowblow and then a massive head-bruising chair shot! One . . . two . . . three! Angle picks up the win, but gets a stunner for his trouble. Austin’s music hits and he chases down Steph, but then just grabs a beer and heads for the back, but not before toasting the crowd. Steph and Trish check out their fallen companions, and Austin has his beer raised as Raw fades to black.
WINNER VIA PINFALL: Kurt Angle and The Rock

Great, fast paced main event. Top notch action and a great finish, but I was hoping for Trish and Steph to face off. Overall, not a whole lot of storyline development, but there was some solid action and I’m sure that the “Xtreme” Smackdown will be promising due to tonight’s events.