Date: Sunday, April 1, 2012
Location: Sun Life Stadium in Miami, Florida
First half of these results by Ryan Clark & wzronline.com. Second half by Triple A.
WWE WrestleMania 28 Opener
The WrestleMania 28 pay-per-view kicks off live from Sun Life Stadium in Miami, Florida as Lilian Garcia is in the ring to sing America The Beautiful. Members of The National Guard are on the stage holding up American flags. The jets do a fly-over as the crowd cheers. Lilian gets the crowd to chant “USA” and we go to a WrestleMania video package.
We come back to Sun Life Stadium and Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler welcome us to the pay-per-view. Fans are still filing into the stadium. Justin Roberts welcomes us and we’re ready for the opener.
World Heavyweight Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan
We go to the ring and out first comes Sheamus to a big pop from the crowd. The World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan is out next and he has AJ Lee with him.
The crowd starts chanting “YES!” and we see a bunch of yes signs in the crowd. The bell rings and Bryan stalling, asking AJ to give him a kiss on the apron. Bryan turns around to a Brogue Kick from Sheamus for the win, and this one is already over after 18 seconds!
Winner and New World Heavyweight Champion: Sheamus
Miz is stepping up as the leader of Team Johnny. None of his teammates give a rats ass about him. Then Otunga comes in, ripped to a ridiculous degree. Team Johnny are wearing shirts with his face on it. Johnny comes in to give them a pep talk. He is wearing a white suit with a red tie, he is like the albino devil. He gives his team a pep talk.
They show a promo for WWE’s 100 free trips to WrestleMania 29.
Kane vs. Randy Orton
We go back to the ring and out first comes Kane for the next match.
Randy Orton is out next to a big pop from the crowd. The bell rings and Orton goes to work on Kane with right hands and takes it to the corner. Kane turns it around with a clothesline in the corner and a big right hand. Kane works over Orton and grabs him for a chokeslam. Orton fights out of it and clubs away on Kane. Orton beats Kane to the mat and starts stomping.
Kane blocks the DDT and takes control of the match. Kane works over Orton and gets a 2 count before keeping him on the mat. Orton tries to fight back but Kane cuts him off. Kane charges in the corner and Orton hits him with a big boot. Orton comes out but Kane catches him with a big side slam for another 2 count. We get some “boring” chants from the crowd as Kane continues to control the match.
Kane hits a long vertical suplex on Orton for another 2 count. Orton finally makes a comeback and goes for a kick. Kane comes up from the mat and chokeslams him. Somehow Orton kicks out at 2 to Kane’s surprise. More back and forth. They go to the second rope and Kane hits a big chokeslam from the second rope for the win.
We cut to backstage where Mick Foley and Santino Marella are hanging out with a member of Deadliest Catch before getting ready to eat some crab legs. Santino starts trying to open up his crab legs with the Cobra while Mick Foley hits his with Mr. Socko. Ron Simmons is waiting in the back to hit his patented DAMN!
Justin Roberts gives a shout out to the National Guard troops in the crowd.
WWE Intercontinental Title: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes
We go to the ring and out first comes the Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes. We see the video looking back at Big Show’s WrestleMania moments. Out next comes Big Show to a nice reaction from the crowd.
The bell rings and Cody goes out to the floor. Show comes out and chases him back in the ring. Cody attacks and leaps out to the floor but Show catches him. Show throws Cody back in the ring over the top rope and follows. Cody attacks but Show shoves him to the mat. Show overpowers Cody and tosses him across the ring. Show with big chops in the corner now.
Show puts Cdoy down in the corner and shoves his rear in his face. Show stalls and goes to splash Cody in the corner but Cody moves. Cody dropkicks Show and then takes his knee out. Show makes a comeback but Cody kicks the leg out again. Cody kicks and punches away on Show now for a 1 count. Cody goes right back to work on Show’s leg. Cody stomps away and applies a submission on the knee.
Show catches Cody’s leg and knocks him down. Show charges in the corner and runs into two boots from Cody. Cody goes to the top but Show grabs him for a chokeslam. Cody jumps out to the floor and slams Show’s arm on the top rope. Cody hits Beautiful Disaster and dazes Show. He goes for another but gets speared in mid-air. Show gets pumped now and calls for the knockout punch. Show connects with the punch for the win.
Winner and New WWE Intercontinental Champion: Big Show
Beth Phoenix and Eve Torres vs. Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos
We go to the ring and out comes Eve Torres with WWE Divas Champion Beth Phoenix. We get some technical difficulties as they come out. Maria Menounos comes out next with Kelly Kelly and the announcers acknowledge Maria’s recent injuries. The bell rings and it’s Kelly and Eve starting out.
They go at it and trade roll ups early on. Kelly takes Eve to the corner for the back elbow but it gets blocked. Eve goes up top for the moonsault but Kelly knocks her down. Menounos gets tagged in now. She and Kelly do a double sweet face to Eve in the corner. Eve takes Maria down and works her over on the ropes now.
The match goes on back and forth. Menounos finally tags in Kelly Kelly. Kelly goes at it with Beth and takes her down. Beth goes up top and flips down with a nice pin but Eve breaks it up. They go on and Kelly blocks the Glam Slam. Menounos eventually goes up top but she takes way too long. Beth lifts Menounos over head until Kelly makes the save. They tangle and Menounos rolls Beth up for the win.
Winners: Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos
Matt Striker is backstage with Shawn Michaels. Shawn is in his referee shirt and says tonight, he holds the power to end an era in his hand.
Justin Roberts is in the ring and announces a new Sun Life Stadium record with 78,363 fans in attendance. We get a big pyro display to celebrate.
THE REST OF THESE RESULTS ARE BY TRIPLE A:
Hell in a Cell: Triple H vs. The Undertaker
Jim Ross comes out to announce this match with Lawler.
Shawn Michaels comes out first in a referee outfit.
Triple H comes out second.
The Undertaker comes out last.
Entrances took like 9 mins I think.
Undertaker staring down Triple H.
“The Memory Remains” by Metallica plays and the cell starts to lower as they stare each other down in the middle of the ring.
I’m gonna be honest with you guys, I took a nap and woke up at like 7:44 PM by accident and then blamed it on the server.
They are fighting outside and stuff. Undertaker threw Triple H into the steps.
Undertaker does that thing where he walks on the top rope and “nails” Triple H.
They go outside again and Undertaker hits Triple H with the “steel steps,” then throws them into the ring.
I feel worried that the server will f*ck up. Gotta upgrade I guess.
Undertaker “dominating” the match so far. Like 10 mins in.
Triple H finally fights back and tries to hit the Pedigree on top of the steps, but Undertaker flips him over and regains control of the match.
Undertaker tries the “Hell’s Gate” choke on HHH but he counters it and slams Undertaker down. Then he goes and gets a steel chair and hits Taker. Everything I am typing seems rlly boring
Triple H hits Undertaker like 982 times with the chair while he’s lying in the ring. Referee Shawn Michaels tries to kinda stop him. Then tries to check on Undertaker but Triple H grabs Michaels and throws him down. He asks Shawn Michaels to stop the match but Undertaker says “do not stop it.” Triple H shouts “stay down.” Undertaker gets up and HHH hits him with the chair some more. Then goes for the pin, Taker kicks out.
More chair shots by HHH. HHH says “End it Shawn or I will.”
Triple H grabs a sledgehammer from under the ring. Shawn Michaels tries to “reason with him.” HHH tells him to end it. Michaels “pleads” with Undertaker to let him stop the match but Undertaker refuses. Triple H nails Undertaker with the sledgehammer, but Undertaker kicks out.
Triple H tries to hit Undertaker again with the sledgehammer but Shawn Michaels grabs it away from him. HHH screams again for Shawn to end it. Michaels checks on Taker, then goes to “ring the bell” to stop the match but stops himself. HHH shouts “do it!” Michaels checks on Taker again and Undertaker puts the Hells Gate on Shawn Michaels. HHH hits Undertaker with the sledgehammer again. Shawn Michaels is down.
HHH tries to hit Taker with the sledgehammer again but Undertaker kicks him and locks on the Hells Gate. Triple H is pretty much “out” but Shawn Michaels is down.
Referee Charles Robinson runs down but the cell is locked. He unlocks the cage and gets in the ring. Undertaker CHOKESLAMS HHH. 1-2-kick out.
Undertaker grabs referee Charles Robinson and chokeslams him. He’s out.
Undertaker tries the Tombstone but Triple H gets out and Shawn Michaels hits a SWEET CHIN MUSIC on Undertaker. Triple H hits the PEDIGREE on Undertaker. 1-2-kick out.
Jim Ross says “slobberknocker”
Triple H shoves Shawn Michaels out of the ring.
Undertaker suddenly gets up with full energy and starts to go to work on HHH. Hits a big boot. And a leg drop. Hits the TOMBSTONE. Michaels comes back into the ring for the count but HHH kicks out. Taker and HHH lying in the middle of the ring. Michaels sits down in the corner looking “distraught.”
They “trade blows” in the middle of the ring. Crowd seems into it, cheering each punch. Taker tries to hit a Tombstone but HHH counters and hits another PEDIGREE but Undertaker kicks out again. The Cell hasn’t really come into play yet.
Undertaker gets up first and grabs a chair and hits HHH with it a few times. Shawn Michaels tries to get Taker to kinda stop, but he doesn’t. Goes for a pin but HHH kicks out.
HHH weakly grabs the sledgehammer but Undertaker yells at him to stay down. Taker grabs the sledgehammer away. Triple H does the DX “suck it” thing and Undertaker hits him with the sledgehammer. He stands in the ring as Triple H tries to get up. Undertaker hits the TOMBSTONE. Pins his arms down. 1-2-3.
Winner: The Undertaker via Tombstone
Jim Ross says “The era has ended. We’ll never see it again. And what a way to go.” Talking about Shawn Michaels. He says “But will we ever see The Undertaker compete again? Will we see Triple H compete again?”
Shawn Michaels and Undertaker embrace/hug in the ring. Shawn Michaels raises Taker’s hand. Crowd cheers. Triple H down in the middle of the ring. Michaels checks up on him.
After Undertaker’s music stops, he and Shawn Michaels help up Triple H as a “sign of respect” and they help him walk out of the ring. They all hug and walk backstage. Entranceway screen says “20-0″
Flo-Rida and Heath Slater Backstage Segment
Backstage, “Flo-Rida” is about to be interviewed, but Heath Slater comes and calls him “Florida” and says he should be interviewed instead. Flo-Rida comes out and Slater says they should do a duet. Flo-rida says no. Slater says what about being a DJ? No. Backup singer? No. He says something else. I don’t know, I couldn’t hear him. Slater “gets all up in his face.” Flo-Rida shoves him. His “crew” comes out to break it up. Terrible.
Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy
Team Johnny comes out first. David Otunga, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, The Miz, and Drew McIntyre.
Team Teddy next. Santino Marella, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, The Great Khali, and Booker T.
Kofi Kingston and Dolph Ziggler start off. Kofi does some “cross body lateral press.” Kick out. Tags in to R-Truth.
Ziggler drop kick on R-Truth, tags in McIntyre. Great Khali tagged in. Don’t feel like doing this anymore.
Booker T tagged in. I don’t know. Kicks McIntyre. Other stuff happens.
Booker T punches every member of the other team. Jack Swagger comes in though and kicks Booker T and stuff. Feeling depressed
Other team “beating up on” Booker T for a while.
Some other shit happens
Hornswoggle comes in and is thrown to the outside but caught by Mark Henry and he throws him down. Honestly don’t know what is happening right now
Every1 is fighting outside. “The women” start fighting each other.
Booker T tags in Santino and he comes in all energized against Miz. Headbutt off top rope. He takes out “the cobra” and punches The Miz. Ziggler saves the pin.
Zack Ryder comes in “on fire” and takes out everyone. Fist pumps.
Miz comes in though and hits the Skull Crushing Finale while Ryder’s fist pumping, and pins him.
Winners: Team Johnny
Team Johnny celebrates.
Zack Ryder looks mad. He says something to Eve. Eve kicks him in the nut sac and walks out and Ryder is down.
A-Rod/Torrie Wilson, Axxess Highlights, CM Punk/Laurinaitis Segment
Alex Rodriguez and Torrie Wilson are in the crowd.
They air a video montage of a bunch of highlights from Axxess.
Team Johnny walks by CM Punk backstage, celebrating.
John Laurinaitis says something but the audio is all low. He says he doesn’t want a brawl, he wants a wrestling match. “If you lose your temper, you get DQ’d, you will also lose your WWE Championship to Chris Jericho. Have a good match.” CM Punk looks mad, etc.
WWE Championship: CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho
John Laurinaitis added the stipulation that the title can change hands on a disqualification.
Chris Jericho enters first, followed by CM Punk.
Andy Garcia is shown in the crowd. “The stars are out tonight.”
They wrestle with each other to start the match under Punk gains control and punches and kicks Jericho and whatnot. Stomps on Jericho in the corner. The ref threatens to DQ him. Jericho slaps Punk but Punk starts punching Jericho in the corner. Ref threatens DQ again. Cole says “he’s gotta disqualify him here!”
Jericho says “How’s your sister?” to Punk. Punk grabs a chair and goes to hit Jericho. Jericho screams at Punk to hit him and says “your father’s a drunk!” and stuff like that, trying to get him to get DQ’d. Punk throws the chair down. Jericho kicks him and regains control of the match.
Jericho stands on the apron, Punk in the ring. Jericho hits a suplex on Punk from the apron to the outside. Weak “holy shit” chant from the crowd. Jericho goes for pin, kickout. Jericho with a backbreaker, followed by sleeperhold. Working on Punk’s back. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, kickout.
Punk finally starts to fight back after about 5-10 mins of Jericho working on his back. High knee by Punk in the corner. Goes for bulldog but Jericho pushes him off and goes for the LIONSAULT but Punk blocks it, but Jericho tries on the WALLS OF JERICHO but Punk kicks him off and kicks Jericho in the head. 1-2-no.
Punk to the top rope. Takes like 20 seconds. Elbow drop but Jericho put his knees up and blocks it. Jericho tries to do something but Punk suddenly hits the GO TO SLEEP. Pin, but Jericho puts his foot on the rope.
Scoop slam by Punk, 2 count. They counter each other’s grapples about 5 times, but suddenly Jericho knocks Punk down and hits the LIONSAULT. Kick out.
Jericho to the middle rope but Punk punches him. Chops by Punk. Punk goes to the top, tries a hurricanrana but Jericho grabs his legs… WALLS OF JERICHO. In the middle of the ring. Punk fighting. Tries to go for the ropes… grabs the ropes, breaks the hold. Jericho thinks he’s won, but ref says he didn’t tap. Jericho runs at Punk but Punk flips him over to the outside of the ring. Punk launches himself through the middle rope into Jericho on the outside. Punk hits a flying knee and rolls Jericho back in.
Punk jumps off the top rope but Jericho hits a CODEBREAKER. Kick out.
Punk tries to counter some moves but Jericho keeps control. Jericho goes to the top but Punk kicks him. Punk grabs Jericho, shouts “best in the world” and goes for the GO TO SLEEP, but Jericho counters it and locks on the Walls of Jericho again. In the middle of the ring, far away from the ropes. Punk tries to crawl to the ropes. Almost there but Jericho drags him back to the middle. Punk fights back some more and gets out of it and ROLLS Jericho up but he kicks out. They reverse roll ups but no. Punk locks on an Anaconda Vice submission but Jericho fights back again. Jericho tries to go for another Walls of Jericho but Punk locks on the Anaconda Vice and Jericho TAPS OUT.
Winner: CM Punk
Brodus Clay Segment
Brodus Clay comes out with 2 broads. He asks everyone to get out their phones cause “we are gonna call our mommas.”
He calls his mom and says he is at WrestleMania, then he introduces his mom, “Momma Clay.” His mom comes out, and she is some old black woman with a “huge ass” and she starts to do some sort of zany dance.
A bunch of old black women in dresses, dressed the same way as his mom, come out and start dancing in the background. His mom’s “bridge club.” Like 20 of them. idk
What is this
Jerry Lawler “loving it”
Machine Gun Kelly Performance
Went to take a leak.
When I came back, I think “Diddy” was in the entranceway, introducing “MGK.”
MGK comes out. Starts to rap. Has a “hype man” who shouts over all his lines. Some white chick singer who sounds like Rihanna I think.
Crowd booing, lol
John Cena vs. The Rock
John Cena comes out first.
Oh my god, another musical performance.
“Flo Rida” comes out.
Has no shirt on and sunglasses.
Grinding my teeth
The Rock finally comes out. Feels like it took 25 mins.
They stare each other down in the middle of the ring. The Rock looks around and “takes in” the crowd. Crowd seems into this match. Bell rings and crowd “pops.”
They lock up to start, Cena overpowers Rock and throws him down. Crowd chanting “Let’s go Cena” and then “Cena sucks.” They lock up again and The Rock pushes Cena down this time.
Rock gains control and they exchange a few more moves. Rock looking and moving pretty well. Cena hits a hip toss and he gains control.
Cena with control of the match. Fighting on the outside. Cena bounces Rock’s face off the announce table. Back in the ring, Cena keeps control. Belly to belly, kick out by Rock. Bear hug by Cena, “attacking the injured midsection” of The Rock.
Rock finally fights back with a few punches and a kick and a DDT. They start exchanging punches. Rock hits a spear off the ropes. Spinebuster by The Rock. Cena down. Rock sets up for THE PEOPLE’S ELBOW but Cena grabs him and tries to lock on the STF, but Rock blocks it. They exchange holds quickly and Cena slams down Rock. Cena taunts him then hits the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. “The most impactful [5 Knuckle Shuffle] of all time” says Michael Cole. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment but Rock blocks it and they hit a double clothesline on each other, and they’re both down.
They both get up and Rock hits a few quick punches on Cena but Cena suddenly hits the Attitude Adjustment, out of nowhere. 1-2-no.
Cena tries to pick up The Rock but Rock suddenly hits a ROCK BOTTOM out of nowhere. Cena kicks out.
Rock punches Cena, but Cena suddenly hits a side slam on Rock. Cena goes to the top rope. Stands up there for a few seconds as Rock struggles to get up. Finally hits a big leg drop to the back of Rock’s head off the top rope, but Rock kicks out.
Rock suddenly hits a spear on Cena off the ropes and locks on the Sharpshooter, but Cena eventually grabs the rope to break it. Rock punches Cena angrily. Tries to put on another Sharpshooter… and does. Rlly bad sharpshooter. Cena grabs the rope again.
Cena rolls to the outside, Rock follows him and throws him into the stairs. Back in the ring, Cena suddenly hits Rock in the stomach and locks on the STF out of nowhere. Rock crawls for the rope, but Cena pulls him back and locks it on again. Rock starts to “fade.” Crawls some more, weakly. Locked on for about a minute. Rock’s eyes closing. Ref picks up Rock’s arm. Down once. Down twice. Will it go down a third time?!?!?! No it does not. Rock grabs the bottom rope, breaking the hold.
Samoan Drop by Rock, both guys down. Ref counts to 8 and they both get up. They exchange punches. Rock goes for Rock Bottom, Cena counters, goes for Attitude Adjustment, Rock counters. Spinebuster by Rock… Sets up for THE PEOPLE’S ELBOW. Throws his elbow pad into the crowd. Hits the elbow. 1-2-no.
Cena with a sudden ROLL UP but Rock kicks out. Cena knocks Rock into the turnbuckle and rolls him up again but Rock kicks out. Cena goes for a middle rope suplex, but Rock punches Cena and pushes him off. Rock goes to the top rope. Cross body block, Cena rolls through and picks Rock up, puts him on his back, and hits the ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT. Kick out.
Rock is down. Cena takes off his elbow pad and goes for The People’s Elbow, mocking The Rock. Runs to the rope but Rock stands up and hits the ROCK BOTTOM. 1-2-3.
Winner: The Rock